


Darcy's Christmas (Play)List

by seibelsays



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-02 23:56:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16797286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seibelsays/pseuds/seibelsays
Summary: Was that...music? Christmas music? Someone actually considered this noise worth recording? Since when did a Christmas song contain this much cursing? The future was terrible.***Darcy Lewis is determined to make this the Best. Christmas. Ever.Bucky Barnes never stood a chance.





	1. Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY DECEMBER EARTHLINGS. This bit of nonsense is not the Christmas fic that I intended to write this year. It is, however, the Christmas fic that fell out of my brain when I needed an excuse to start listening to Christmas music as soon as trick or treat ended on Halloween. I would recommend seeing a dentist after this one. It's sweet and fluffy.
> 
> Oh, and if you're interested, Darcy's playlist is available here:  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0mjlRvjloBDJS9t99vRxjM  
> ***

_I gave you my all_  
_But our love hit a wall now_  
_I’m jingle belling_  
_And everyone’s yelling_  
_We’ll drink ‘till the bars shut us down_  
_Ain’t that just what Christmas is all about?_  
_“Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass” - All Time Low_

Darcy trudged into the lab and flipped on the lights, wincing a little as the sudden brightness blinded her. She was just tired enough that the lights caused a dull throb just behind her eyes. Strictly speaking, there was no reason for her to be in the lab at this ungodly hour. Her flight had just gotten in, she could go unpack, do some laundry, relax. Sleep. She should really go to bed. Jane was visiting her mom in London and hadn’t expected Darcy to be back for another few days anyway. There wasn’t anything for her to do. 

But after her disaster of a Thanksgiving, she had no desire to be alone in her apartment. At least in the lab, she could pretend her life was less of a mess.

One day, she’d learn not to let her family get to her. Today was not looking like that day.

She dropped her bag by the door, kicking the strap out of the way, and headed for the stereo. A perk of working for a lab funded entirely by Stark Industries was the top of the line sound systems integrated in every lab. Tony Stark clearly appreciated the value of good working music and Darcy appreciated someone else’s money paying for it.

She synced her phone to the system and flipped through her playlists. She needed something loud. Obnoxious. Something she could dance to. Maybe sing along, wildly off-key (was there any other way to sing?). 

She continued scrolling - nothing quite captured the mix of self-pity and bald “fuck you, I’ll do what I want” that she was currently experiencing. It was too happy, or too sad, or too slow, or included far too much screaming (she was well aware her kickboxing playlist was an acquired taste).

She got to the end of the list and was about to give up when - 

_Bingo._

She smiled and pressed play. 

***

Of all the things he’d seen and heard in various laboratories over the years, Bucky wasn’t entirely sure he’d ever come across anything quite like this. He’d been quietly wandering, poking around at some of the experiments that didn’t look likely to explode, hoping some new bit of tech would catch his interest enough to block out the nightmare he’d woken up from. The floor was almost completely deserted, with most reasonable people either in bed or still away visiting family and friends for the Thanksgiving holiday. 

Not Jane Foster’s lab however. Not tonight.

A cacophony of noise reverberated throughout the floor and Bucky had to suppress the urge to throw his hands over his sensitive ears.

Was that...music? _Christmas_ music? Someone actually considered this noise worth recording? Since when did a Christmas song contain this much cursing? The future was terrible. He followed the sounds, if only to ask Foster to pipe the hell down.

He was not prepared the the sight that greeted him.

Darcy Lewis had climbed atop her desk and was wildly shimmying to the beat of the song blasting from the surround speakers installed throughout the lab. Her curls were wild, tangled in the neon green feather boa she had wrapped around her neck and candy cane sunglasses covered her usual black frames. She was wearing the _ugliest_ sweater he had ever seen (and he’d seen Clint Barton through his ninja phase). It was a migraine-inducing yellow, covered in tiny knit reindeer. He was going to pretend he didn’t notice that the reindeer were doing unspeakable things to one another. 

The song ended and he politely applauded from his spot in the doorway.

“Bucky-Bear!” Darcy yelled, throwing her hands into the air and making a grabbing motion in greeting.

He suppressed a grimace. She’d...gifted...him with the silly nickname the day they’d met and he had yet to shake it - something Barton and Wilson took frequent advantage of. Like it was his fault some enterprising toy manufacturer took advantage of his World War II public persona and built a plushie empire. He’d been dead for crying out loud. Well. As far as anyone knew at that point anyway.

“Darcy-Doll,” he returned with a sigh. He’d come up with her nickname in an attempt to dissuade her from using his. It had backfired spectacularly. She _loved_ that he had a name for her and encouraged loud usage whenever possible. (He firmly ignored the voice in his head that downright _preened_ at having a private, recurring joke with her.)

She grinned at him, then spun around and tilted her weight backwards. 

“Shit,” he muttered as he hustled to the side of the desk to catch her. She landed in his arms with a laugh as the next song started. It was just as loud and annoying as the last, if not more so. This one had a fiddle.

She hopped out of his arms and grabbed his hands. “You’ve gotta dance with me to this one, Bucky-Bear.”

He kept his feet firmly planted in place as she attempted to swing him around. “How much alcohol did they give you on the plane?” 

“I am high on life, mister!”

“Uh huh.”

“And sleep deprivation.”

“That’s more like it.”

“Are you judging? No judging, this is a no judgement zone! I don’t judge your life choices.”

“Not judging, Darcy-Doll. Just rapidly losing my upper hearing range.”

She waved him off. “You’ll serum it back by tomorrow.” She lifted his arm and twirled herself under it, then swung back to face him, singing along to the music at the top of her lungs.

“There’s mischief and mayhem and songs to be sung! They call this Christmas where I’m froooooooommmm!”

Bucky couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped him and felt a small smile creep across his face at her antics. 

“That’s what I was looking for,” Darcy smiled, still swaying to the music, swinging his hands.

Contrary to their easy repartee, Bucky didn’t feel like he actually knew Darcy all that well. He considered her a friend, a good friend, even - as much as anyone outside of Steve could be considered a friend these days. But though they had a permanent lab space at the facility, Darcy spent most of her time in the field with Jane, chasing down one crazy anomaly or another. As far as he could tell, Darcy was this friendly and engaging with everyone. Darcy Lewis was, by all accounts, good people.

He, on the other hand, was not.

Her smile and enthusiasm were infectious though. Before he could question it further, he twirled her around again and again, then pulled her close and dipped her, resulting in a short shriek of laughter erupting from her as she kicked one leg in the air. 

As the music faded, another round of applause sounded from the doorway.

“Nicely done, really. Brilliant,” Steve said, grinning. “You two tryin’ to wake the building with this racket?”

Bucky stood upright, pulling Darcy with him and attempting to step back. She clung on and pressed her cheek to his. 

“You want in on this Christmas karaoke dance-party, Steve-o?”

“I’m not ready for that,” Steve deadpanned.

“Aww, but Bucky-Bear here is such a lovely dancer,” she teased.

“His singing voice leaves a little to be desired.”

“No one’s perfect.” She stayed pressed against him as she joked with Steve, swaying them back and forth. Then she pressed a sloppy kiss to Bucky’s cheek. “You’re close though,” she teased, before releasing him and turning back to her desk to pause the music. 

Steve gave him a knowing look. Bucky flipped him off. He could see the wheels in his friend’s mind turning and he needed to shut that down immediately. He preferred his solitude most days. This entire scene was a fluke.

Darcy was cute and funny and sure, he was a tiny bit sweet on her, but he didn’t...do that anymore. He had no intentions of changing that anytime soon either. For...reasons. Really good reasons.

Really good reasons that completely escaped him when she smiled at him like she’d been doing since he walked into her lab tonight.

Steve cleared his throat and broke Bucky out of his reverie. Apparently he’d been staring.

“So, Darcy,” Steve began, trying to suppress his grin and failing miserably. “How was your Thanksgiving?”

Darcy pushed the candy cane sunglasses up into her hair and rolled her eyes. “Same story, different year. ‘Why don’t you settle down and get a real job, Darcy?’ ‘You’re not getting any younger, Darcy.’ ‘You’ll never catch a man if you keep putting on weight like that, Darcy.’” She belied her words with a grin. “Honestly, I’d go home more often if they’d at least change it up a little. At this rate, there’s no reason to visit the family more than once a decade.”

“Ah,” Steve looked distinctly uncomfortable with Darcy’s blunt assessment of her holiday. 

“I’ll be much happier around here for the holidays,” she said breezily, reorganizing the papers on her desk that had been disrupted by her impromptu dance party.

Bucky’s eyes snapped to Steve’s and he shook his head slightly.

_Don’t you dare, you punk._

Steve’s discomfort evaporated and his grin turned absolutely feral.

“You know,” Steve began, leaning against the doorframe almost lazily. It _almost_ looked unpracticed. If he didn’t know that Steve was only mimicking Bucky Barnes circa 1943, Bucky would almost think it was natural movement for Steve. Almost. “Not many people stick around here the month of December.”

“Is that so?” Darcy replied, with a raised eyebrow. Bucky quickly smothered the chuckle that threatened to rise out of his chest. She wasn’t falling for Steve’s act either, apparently.

“This place isn’t all that festive, what with most of the team away.”

“Uh huh.”

“You and Bucky should-”

“I’m not your elf, Steve-o.” Darcy glanced at Bucky and gave him a surreptitious wink. “And I’m sure Bucky knows how to make his own holiday fun.”

“You guys know I am standing here, right?” 

“I’m just saying. Bucky will be around, too.” Steve ignored Bucky, shrugged, and turned to go. “Try not to shake the building apart with the Christmas dance party, okay?” he tossed casually over his shoulder as a parting shot.

Darcy’s eyes slid away from Steve’s retreating figure over to Bucky.

“He was like this when I met him, I swear.”

Darcy snorted with laughter, then clapped a hand over her mouth as her shoulders continued to shake with mirth. The sight brought a smile to Bucky’s face.

“He’s not wrong though. This place was depressingly un-festive last year.” Darcy said, leaning against the desk.

That made Bucky pause. Darcy had been on base last year? If he had known that, he would have…Done nothing differently. Bucky’s therapist was adamant that Bucky be honest, especially with himself, and extra-especially in his own head. If he had known Darcy was on base for Christmas last year, he still would have stayed in his room staring at the ceiling, just as he did when he hadn't known she’d been around.

This year was not last year, however.

“Sounds like you’re working on a plan to fix that.” He tried for casual and might have pushed it too far, from cool into unsure. 

Darcy shrugged. “Maybe.” She gave him a furtive glance as she continued to shuffle paper around her desk. “Could use some help though.”

“Oh yeah? Anyone in mind?” Was this flirting? He didn’t remember flirting being this nausea inducing. This probably wasn’t flirting - Darcy was a smart girl, after all, and could flirt with anyone she wanted. And if she was really smart, she wouldn’t want to flirt with him.

She grinned at him, leaning back from her desk and folding her arms over her chest. “Well, you don’t seem all that busy.”

“I...uh…” _Eloquent, Barnes. Really. Way to go._

Her smile faltered. “Just a thought,” she said quickly.

“No, no, I just…” he cleared his throat. “I haven’t done the holiday thing in...awhile.”

“Well,” she said, her smile returning and turning a shade mischievous, “stick with me, Bucky-Bear. I’ll get you in the spirit in no time. You and me are gonna have the best December ever.”

“Okay,” he agreed quietly.

She was silent for a moment, still grinning at him. “We can start by continuing this dance party - you pick the music this time.” She tossed her phone at him. “But if you pick ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ I will disown you.”


	2. Wish List

_I was adorable when you met me_  
_I’m on the naughty list this year_  
_A lump of coal won’t do it justice_  
_It’s all the loneliness I fear_  
_“Wish List” - Neon Trees_

“Bucky-Bear,” a feminine voice cooed softly in his ear. As Bucky drifted towards awake, he became distinctly aware of a small hand gently tracing lines along his flesh arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

“Hmmmmm,” he hummed, then shifted a little further under the covers and drifted back towards sleep.

“Up and at ‘em, soldier!” The voice was a little louder now, filled with laughter, and the hand was attempting to shake him. It was a nice voice - it inspired warm feelings that just made him want to curl into the blankets and stay there all day, if the voice would keep talking to him.

“I’m gonna steal your duvet,” the voice warned. When that failed to get more than a groan in response, the hand started slapping at his thigh.

He screwed his eyes shut, trying to block out the light. “Ggggrrrruuummphh. Timesit?” he mumbled. The slapping at his legs didn’t cease and he felt a chill as the duvet disappeared. He took a deep breath and finally opened his eyes.

And had to blink several times, to make sure he was actually seeing what he thought he saw.

“Lazy bones! Get your cute ass out of bed. We’re going tree hunting!”

Darcy Lewis was standing next to his bed, hovering over him, shaking him awake. While wearing another horrific Christmas sweater (this one was electric blue and covered in llamas) and had seemingly wrapped her glasses in tinsel.

“Darcy?” he mumbled, his voice still slurred with sleep.

“Yes dear?”

“You’re in my bedroom,” he said stupidly.

“Yes I am.”

“Why are you in my bedroom?”

“It’s Tree Day and you slept through your alarm and six of my phone calls.”

“ _How_ are you in my bedroom?”

Darcy blinked, then straightened. “A lady never reveals her secrets,” she replied primly, examining her nails.

“Kay. What’s your excuse?”

Darcy’s face lit with mock indignation. It was a good look for her and he made a mental note to try to draw it out more often.

Or not. The slaps at his legs resumed.

“Up! And! At! ‘Em!” she yelled, punctuating each word with another slap.

“I’m up! I’m up! Errrgggh!” He hauled himself into a sitting position, as his shoulder popped and the plates in his arm whirred.

Darcy’s eyes widened as she took in the expanse of his back, his scars on full display.

_Dammit._

“Sorry, I’m...can you just give me fifteen?” he asked quietly.

“Sure,” she breathed, then backed out of his room and closed the door, presumably to wait in his living room.

He rolled his neck, willing himself awake, trying to shove aside the shame he felt at Darcy seeing his scars, before throwing back the remaining covers to climb out of bed. He grabbed the first clothes he laid hands on in the closet and made his way into the bathroom to quickly get ready.

Twelve minutes later, he made his way towards the kitchen. He’d promised Darcy fifteen minutes, so he had a few to spare to brew up some coffee and then-

Was that...did he smell cinnamon rolls?

He entered the kitchen just as Darcy was pulling a plate out of the microwave, bustling about his kitchen like she belonged there.

“Bucky-Bear! Great timing. Coffee’s all done and these bad boys are just about reheated.”

“Where’d you get the cinnamon rolls? I thought the mess was closed since there’s so few people on base.”

Darcy shot him a look. “I made them.”

“ _You_ made them?”

“Did I stutter?”

“No...I didn’t know you baked.”

“There’s lots of things you don’t know about me,” she said with a grin as she plated up the yeasty breakfast treats. She set the two plates on the kitchen island. “Will the icing gum up the plates in your hand? You might want a fork - these babies turned out a little bit gooey.”

“Uh…”

“Mind pouring the coffee?”

Coffee. Right. Maybe after caffeine his life will make a little more sense. He poured two mugs, doctored hers the way she liked (cream, no sugar), then placed them next to the plates as Darcy slid onto her stool. 

“I didn’t know you knew how I took my coffee!” She took a long sip and her eyes practically rolled back in her head.

“I didn’t know you knew how to break into my bedroom.”

“Well, it wasn’t like I was getting an invitation anytime soon,” she said, wagging her eyebrows. Bucky almost spit his coffee all over the counter and Darcy burst out laughing. 

“You should see your face! Oh man, here I thought it was only fun to do that to Rogers.”

He was wrong. His life didn’t make more sense after coffee.

“You are far too awake for...11 am.” Damn, he really had slept through his alarm. They’d agreed to meet up at 9, which meant he would have originally been aiming to get up at 7.

“And you are far too grumpy for Tree Day.”

He grunted a little in response, taking a long sip of his coffee. Why did coffee taste better when someone else made it?

“So what’s the plan?” he asked. He took a large bite out of his cinnamon roll and let out a satisfied moan as the flavor exploded on his tongue. The bread had a light crunch and was tempered with just the right amount of sweet from the sugar and the icing. He had one hell of a sweet tooth, but even he found the store bought stuff to be far too cloyingly sweet.

“Coaxing that sound out of you as often as possible,” she teased. “Damn, Bucky, warn a girl, will ya? I think I just sacrificed an ovary over here.”

He desperately tried to tamp down the flush he could feel rising in his face and neck. Darcy’s satisfied chuckle told him he was less than successful. He shoved the rest of the cinnamon roll in his mouth so he wouldn’t have to respond. Because he had manners. Or something.

“Well, I have my heart set on a live tree. I’d been thinking we could head out to that tree farm about a half hour from here? Or we could just run into town and hit up the tree lot, since we’re getting a later start. I don’t know how much time you have today.” 

He froze at that, his coffee cup halfway between the counter and his mouth. She pushed the remains of her cinnamon roll around her plate, not looking at him.

“I have all day,” he said quietly. “Whatever you want to do, I’m all yours.”

Her eyes lit up. “Really?”

“‘Course.”

***

They pulled into the lot at the tree farm and reluctantly left the warmth of the car, stepping into the icy air. Darcy quickly pulled on bright red knitted mittens and clapped her hands together.

“Let’s do this.”

Bucky grabbed the saw out of the back of the truck and followed her to the shed where she was already talking with the farm’s owner. She pointed Darcy west and they trekked out into the snow.

“What did you have in mind for the tree? Tall? Fat? Charlie Brown?”

Darcy’s laugh filled the air. “I love that you know that.” She looped her arm through his. “We’ll know it when we see it.”

“Okay.” 

“After we find a tree, where do you want to put it?”

“It’s...not going in your house?”

Darcy shrugged. “It could. We could also put it in the big common area in the main building. Or…” she paused in front of a squat Blue Spruce and pinched the needles on one branch. “Were you going to decorate at all? We could set it up in your living room.”

Bucky hesitated. “I wasn’t planning on it,” he said slowly.

“Why not?” she asked, seemingly deciding against the tree and leading him further down the path.

He shrugged. “Not sure I see the point.”

“Of decorating? Or of any of this? Because you didn’t have to-”

He cut her off. “Decorating. What’s the point of going to all the effort when I’m the only person who’s ever there?”

Darcy stopped at another tree, a Virginia Pine this time. “Because it’s pretty? And you could always invite people over.”

“Like who?”

She scrunched up her nose as she squeezed the needles of the tree and quickly led him away. “Anyone. Steve. Sam.” She leaned in with a smile. “Me.”

“You’d spend Christmas in my living room?”

“With you? Absolutely.”

He hummed in response, not entirely believing her. If he surreptitiously pulled her a little closer the further they walked, it was only because he wanted to make sure she was warm enough. He knew he was basically a space heater after all. 

Bucky’s eyes fell on one particular tree a little further up the path. It was a Balsam Fir, slightly taller than him, not too big around, but plenty full. He could almost imagine it light with lights, tiny ornaments reflecting the light and refracting the colors all over a room. (If the clearest part of this fantasy was how the lights would illuminate Darcy’s smiling face as she celebrated the holiday, that was his secret.)

He nudged Darcy and nodded at the tree. Her eyes lit up and she jumped up and down just a little in excitement.

“You are in charge of all tree finding from now until forever. This is perfect!” She ran over to the tree and practically smashed her face into the branches so she could sniff the bark.

“And it’s only slightly too large for me to wrestle back to the car,” he replied dryly.

“I’ll help!” she yelled, her voice a little muffled, as continued to sniff the tree.

“Uh huh. We both know I’m just here as the muscle.” He kept his tone light, but he was only partially kidding. The honesty had just sort of slipped out unintentionally. He crouched down next to the tree to determine the best placement of the saw for a clean cut so he didn’t have to look at her. 

“Hey now,” she said softly, turning to him as her mittened fingers grasped his arm. “That’s not true.”

He looked up at her and saw the absolute sincerity in her eyes.

She grinned at him. “You’re also excellent eye candy.” He groaned as she laughed. “But seriously. I asked you to come along. If anything, you are indulging me here.”

He nodded briefly, then got down to the business of cutting down the tree before she could decipher the look on his face. He made quick work of sawing through the trunk and soon he was hefting the tree onto his shoulder so they could make their way back to the shed to pay.

Darcy looked a little stunned. “Uh. Wow.”

“What?”

“You realize most people can’t just throw a tree over their shoulder, right?”

“Metal arm is good for something.”

Darcy gave him a look and he tried to lighten the mood with a self-deprecating grin.

“Just for that, I’m not buying you any hot cider.”

“Aww, don’t be like that, Darce.”

“Nope.”

They made their way back down the path, the silence that settled between them suddenly less comfortable than it might have been before. He mentally kicked himself for spoiling it the entire walk back. He couldn’t even offer her his arm - he needed both to keep the tree balanced on his shoulder. 

When they had paid for the tree and secured it into the truck bed, they slid back into the cab. Bucky started the truck and cranked the heat, hoping Darcy wasn’t too cold and could hang on until the truck warmed up.

He pulled out of the farm and glanced at Darcy, who was pulling off her mittens and staring out the window.

_Say something!_

“How...um…” he cleared his throat as Darcy turned to look at him. “How were you going to decorate the tree? Did you need to stop at the storage place to get your ornaments or anything?” Everyone had access to a secure storage facility a few miles from the base. His was filled with passports for a few cover identities, cash of various currencies, his mother’s wedding ring, and a box of Bucky-Bear dolls that he’d confiscated from Barton. He had no idea what someone like Darcy would keep in her unit.

“Oh. Usually with a live tree, I make ornaments that I can toss with the tree at the end of the season. Cookies, things like that. I don’t really have anything from when I was a kid.”

He had to be misunderstanding. “You hang cookies on your tree?”

“Yeah.”

He shifted his grip on the steering wheel. “Bet that’s a sight.” 

Darcy was quiet for a moment. “They’re pretty labor intensive. Wouldn’t mind some help.” She fidgeted in her seat and picked at her nail polish. “If you have the time.”

He glanced at her again. “Darcy…”

“It’s okay. I usually do this stuff on my own.”

“I told you I was all yours today.”

He saw her eyes snap towards him. “Yeah?”

“‘Course. You have everything you need for these cookie ornaments or do we need to go to the store?”

A smile crept across her face. “How do you feel about applesauce?”


	3. Mixtape For Christmas

_Our mixtape for Christmas_  
_With all our favorite songs_  
_I'd stay here forever if you'll sing along_  
_Just us and the fire, we're swaying to the beat_  
_There's no place I'd rather be_  
_“Mixtape for Christmas” - Hey Monday_

“Explain to me why you insisted on the cheap, junk ‘applesauce’ instead of the good stuff I picked out.”

“One, no store bought applesauce can be classified as ‘good,’ you should be ashamed of yourself. B, if there was a store bought applesauce that could possibly be in the realm of good, it still wouldn’t be the brand you put in the cart. Finally, we’re not eating it, so it doesn’t matter what it tastes like.” Darcy unpacked the shopping bag as she rambled, shoving random ingredients into his hands like he knew what to do with them. He stacked them on the counter behind her and waited for further instructions.

“You just used three different verbal bullet points.”

“And?”

“Your brain works in mysterious ways.”

“Did you just figure that out?” Darcy teased, bumping him with her hip. He was infinitely relieved that the tension from the car earlier had seemingly dissipated and they were settling back into their increasingly familiar banter. 

“Did you want to bring in the tree and get that set up first, or get started on the ornaments?”

He shrugged. “This is your show. Just tell me where to go.”

She glanced out the window, where snow was softly falling and turning the world outside white. “Let’s grab the tree before it gets snow covered.”

“I’ve got it.”

“Bucky,” she lightly admonished.

He grinned at her. “I carried it all the way from the farm to the car. Another few feet isn’t going to hurt me.”

“Fine. I won’t get the doors for you then.” 

He sighed the sigh of the long-suffering and she grinned at him. “Where am I taking the tree?”

“Bring it in here.”

“My living room.”

“Yes.” She turned back to the cabinets to start gathering her materials for her ornaments, clearly not willing to argue. “Yo, JARVIS, hit me with my Christmas tunes.”

His grin softened as he watched her for a moment, then he hurried outside to grab the tree.

***

“I’ve got the stand all set in the corner,” Darcy called to him as he hauled the tree inside. He quickly set the tree in the stand and started messing with the pins to hold the tree in place.

“How’s it looking?” he called, his voice a little muffled.

“Shift just a touch to the left and you’re perfect.”

He did as instructed and tightened the pins in place, then crawled out from under the tree to shake the snow and pine needles from his hair. When he finally looked up, Darcy was staring at him.

“Hi,” he said, a little stupidly. 

She blinked a few times then grinned at him. “Ready for ornaments?”

“Whatever you need,” he followed her to the kitchen and leaned against the island. “What’s the plan?”

She shoved a rolling pin into his hands. “Once the dough is ready, you can roll it out.”

“What’s the dough?” he asked, attempting to peek over her shoulder into the mixer.

“Applesauce and cinnamon.”

“Okay,” he replied slowly. “And what else?”

“That’s it,” she said, stopping the mixer and poking at the dough with her finger. “That’s why I bought the cheap applesauce and the absurdly large container of crappy cinnamon. Throw enough cinnamon into the applesauce to make a dough, roll it out, cut out Christmas-y shapes, then leave them to dry for a few days. Boom - you have ornaments.”

“That’s...brilliant, actually.”

“Yep. Hang ‘em up with some natural twine and we can chuck the whole thing in the compost come January. And the whole place smells like cinnamon all month. Bonus - is confuses the cranberries out of Steve. Every time he walked past the tree last year, he couldn’t seem to figure out why everything smelled like apple pie. It entertains me to no end, so if you spill my secrets, Barnes, I will have your head.”

He laughed. “Sounds like a plan.”

“Thought you’d like it. Hey J,” she addressed the ceiling as she tied a gingerbread man covered apron around her waist, “turn up the music, will ya? Bucky-Bear and I have work to do.”

***

A few hours later and every available surface in Bucky’s kitchen and living room was covered in drying applesauce and cinnamon ornaments. There were strings of popcorn hanging over a few of the kitchen chairs and Darcy had dug out her stash of easily compostable paper to make paper chains. The entire room smelled heavenly and Darcy collapsed onto the couch with a happy sigh, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

“This is what December is supposed to smell like.”

He smiled and sat down next to her. “What’s next on your holiday cheer list?”

She shifted so that her head rested on his shoulder, her eyes still closed. “Mmmm. Not sure. We can hang the popcorn and paper chains, or wait a few days until the ornaments are dry. Anything you want to do?”

He paused. “Steve still require you to have a security detail?”

She groaned and wrapped her arms around his, cuddling into his side. “Yep. Pain in my ass.”

“You still got shoppin’ to do? Or you one of those early shoppers, has everything done by Halloween?”

Darcy lifted her head and eyed him carefully, her bright blue eyes seeing far too much for his liking. “I still have some shopping left.”

He nodded and chewed on his lip. “Me too.”

A slow smile crept across her face. “You offering to watch my six, Bucky-Bear?”

“Just seemed efficient,” he mumbled. “If we’re both going out. I’m qualified, Steve wouldn’t object to me taking over your detail.”

“I would never object to that. You’re much more fun than some of the baby agents he assigns me. But why would we be going out?”

“What do you mean?”

Her eyes were laughing at him. “Why on earth would you willingly set foot in a mall this time of year?”

“What else would I do?”

“Order everything online and get it delivered to your door. Like a reasonable human.”

“Oh.” Well there went that idea. He’d kind of liked the thought of Christmas shopping with her. Poking around a used bookstore, looking for that perfect rare book that might make her smile. Maybe she’d snuggle into his side to hide from the cold and he could buy her a hot chocolate to warm her hands. The lights and the noise and the people would all be a little more bearable with her there. He could feel it.

But of course she did her shopping online. Most people did these days. He suppressed a sigh and nodded at her.

“Got any plans for the rest of the day?” she asked. He shook his head. “I was going to order in some Thai food and get a fire going. I’d love some company,” she said, lacing her fingers through his and giving his hand a squeeze.

He squeezed her hand back. “Sounds perfect.”


	4. Somewhere In My Memory

_Somewhere in my memory_  
_Christmas joy’s all around me_  
_Living in my memory_  
_All of the music_  
_All of the magic_  
_All of the family home here with me_  
_“Somewhere In My Memory” - Four Year Strong_

Darcy clicked the “confirm purchase” button with a smile. Her shopping was just about done and in record time. Now all she needed to do was wait for the packages to show up and she’d be all set.

“Suck it, Santa.”

To be fair to Old Saint Nick, compared to years past her shopping list hadn’t been all that long this year. She’d given a lot of thought to her list over the summer and had culled it down pretty ruthlessly. Her parents’ behavior over Thanksgiving reaffirmed her decision to send them cards and nothing else, while staying firmly put on the base for the holiday. Last year she’d skipped the big Lewis family gathering and avoided her catty cousins and it had honestly been a relief. Her parents hadn’t gone in years, so her absence hadn’t been noticed anyway. This year she was skipping that and any visit she might have made back home. Life was too short to spend every December anxious and miserable, trying to please people who would never understand her.

Still, the people she did want to give gifts to tended to be absurdly difficult to shop for. What, exactly, does one gift a Norse god? She had high hopes for how the carefully curated selection of military history books would be received, but still. It was a tall order.

Steve was easier - art supplies. Expensive, but easier. Clint - gift vouchers for his favorite pizza place and hand-crocheted blankets for those kids of his that she wasn’t strictly supposed to know about. If anyone questioned the purple mermaid tail blanket for Lila, well. They could probably pass it off as an inside joke. Natasha would probably ask out loud, just to be a troll. 

(Natasha was also getting a mermaid tail blanket, because Darcy knew she’d steal Lila’s in a heartbeat if she didn’t have her own.)

She and Jane had a long-standing agreement not to get each other anything, opting for an absurdly decadent dinner out sometime in January. There were a few fellow support staff that she exchanged with, and she always made sure to snag extra gift cards for whatever security staff got stuck working the holiday, but otherwise she was done.

Well. There was Bucky.

What in the fresh hell does she get Bucky Barnes for Christmas?

Last year, he’d only been around the facility for a few months, still skittish and hid from just about everyone. She’d coaxed him out of his house a few times, and Steve a few more, but overall he’d just holed up in his rooms and stayed away from everyone. She’d left him a plate of cookies and the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy radio play box set. (She’d originally planned on a few of her favorite John Scalzi novels, until she really thought about the plot of some of those stories. They weren’t quite close enough at the time to know what kind of effect _Old Man’s War_ would have on Bucky’s mental health, and even now she wasn’t willing to risk it.)

This year though? Their friendship was solid - one of the more solid relationships she has these days, really. And she really hadn’t needed Steve entirely unsubtle push to involve Bucky in her holiday schemes. Steve was a troll and she suspected he had sussed out her tiny, unrequited thing for his best friend. It was almost sweet of him to try to push her in Bucky’s path, even if it was entirely hopeless. Bucky deserved all the happiness in the universe - but he also deserved to choose for himself what form that happiness took. She would take all the casual cuddles he let her dole out and be satisfied.

But the question remained - what does one get for a formerly brainwashed assassin friend that one might have a teensy, tiny bit of a thing for but aren’t delusional enough to seriously consider the possibility of more from? 

Socks?

She had a few little things for him - a package of the gummy candies he liked but the store always seemed to be out of, a pound of the heavenly dark roast coffee that made him close his eyes and savor every sip, and handwraps she’d fashioned from some of the new, supposedly indestructible fabric of Stark’s she’d pilfered to replace the god-awful tape he shredded almost instantly every time he abused a heavy bag. 

She could probably stuff it all in a new mug or something and call it a day, but it just didn’t feel...complete.

Well, she still had time. She would figure something out.

For now, the fun part. What did she want to get _herself_ for Christmas? It was a little tradition she’d started years ago, when things with her family really started getting untenable. 

She navigated to one of her favorite web stores and started browsing. Maybe she’d find something for Bucky while she was at it.

***

Snow was softly falling in big, fluffy flakes as Darcy made her way down the path to Bucky’s door. She smiled a little upon noticing his front step was meticulously clear of snow and ice, even though the base was mostly deserted. It felt hopeful somehow. The smile slipped away as a dark part of her brain wondered how many visitors he received even when the base was full. His comment from the other day about no one seeing the tree still bothered her.

She pushed that thought away. That was their loss - every day, she found more reasons why Bucky was awesome. If other people couldn’t (or wouldn’t) see that, then that just meant more of Bucky’s time was available to her. She would happily take any and all the time he’d give her.

She tapped on his door, the sound muffled by her thick mittens. Hopefully, his sensitive hearing picked up on the sound - the temperature had dropped again and she really didn’t want to expose her hand to the cold if she didn’t have to.

The door swung open, a sleep rumpled Bucky on the other side. He was adorable and it was absolutely not fair to her poor heart. Or libido.

“Darcy,” he greeted in surprise.

“Hey you.”

“What’s going on?” he motioned for her to step inside out of the cold.

She quickly ducked inside with a smile and shook some of the snow out of her hair as he locked back up. “I didn’t wake you did I?”

He looked a little sheepish. “I might have been dozing on the couch.”

That didn’t sound right. “Is that where you normally nap?” she asked carefully.

His sheepish smile warmed to an affectionate grin. “I’m fine. No need to worry about me.”

“I’ll worry about anyone I want to.”

“I’m sure you will. But you really don’t need to spend your energy worrying about me.”

“Never said I was worried about _you_.” She made a face at him as he tilted his head back in exasperation.

“Walked right into that one, didn’t I? So what’s going on?”

“I was wondering if that offer to be my security detail still stands.”

“Yeah, of course. Anytime, you don’t have to ask. Where you going?”

Her smile brightened. “I realized last night that there is one thing I need for Christmas that I can’t order online.”

“What’s that?”

“You’ll see,” she promised.

***

The street was packed with people. Bucky had grown quiet and she could feel Bucky getting tense at her back as he kept his eyes moving through the crowd. She was starting to wonder if this was a bad idea after all. Figures - she tries to do something nice and it blows up on her. Story of her life.

She slowed her pace and fell into step next to him, looping her arm through his. He looked down at her in confusion.

“I’m cold. You’re warm.”

“Using me for my space heater properties, huh?”

“Serum’s gotta be good for something.”

He grinned, taking a deep breath to try to smother his laughter, but she saw it in his eyes. A tiny bit of the tension seeped out of his shoulders and it felt like success.

He nodded at a coffee shop across the street. “Buy you a hot chocolate?”

“That’s cheating, Bucky-Bear. You know the fastest way to my heart is through copious amounts of chocolate.”

“Maybe that’s the goal,” he grinned and Darcy could swear she felt her heart stop.

“You are dangerous in all the best ways, my dude.”

They quickly ducked into the shop and joined the line. There was an enormous menu board over the register and Bucky looked a little overwhelmed by the sheer variety of choices.

“Do you trust me?” she asked quietly, leaning close to his ear.

“With everything,” he replied immediately, his voice still a little distracted. 

Darcy blinked rapidly a few times. She couldn’t have heard that right. (And even if she did, she knew he didn’t actually mean it the way it sounded.) Still, she filed the statement away for the future and snuggled into this arm a little more as they approached the register to place their order.

“One Mexican hot chocolate and one lavender hot chocolate with coconut milk, please.”

He raised his eyebrows at her, but said nothing as he handed the money over to the cashier and she didn’t disentangle herself from his side while they waited for their treats. When her name was finally called, she grabbed both cups and held them out to Bucky.

“Take your pick.”

“Which one do you want?” he asked.

She shook her head. “These two are tied for first place in my heart. Try both, whichever one you like more is yours.”

He looked at her a moment, his expression plotting. “Which one should I try first?”

She held one of the cups out and he took it, taking a small sip. She tried (and failed) not to stare as he silently considered the treat, then licked his lips and held out his hand for the other cup. She obliged and he tasted the second beverage. 

“This one. Definitely this one.”

She grinned. “Not gonna lie, I would not have expected you to pick the lavender hot chocolate.”

His eyes went wide. “If that’s the one you wanted-”

“Stop,” she interrupted. “I told you. I love both. Doesn’t matter to me one bit.”

He still looked hesitant. “Promise?” he asked quietly.

“I would never lie to you, Bucky.”

He nodded, then reached out and tugged playfully on her coat zipper. “Bundle up, then. We’re going back out there.”

Once outside, they rounded the corner and she pulled them to a stop. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked immediately, glancing around and pulling her tight against him.

“Absolutely nothing, Bucky-Bear. We’re here.”

His brow furrowed. “Where’s here? I thought we were shopping?”

“No, I told you I needed something for Christmas that I couldn’t buy online.”

“Okay? What is it?”

“The look on your face when we see the Christmas windows.”

She didn’t think she could replicate the stunned look on his face if she walloped him over the head with her purse. She steered them to the first window, this one depicting a group of toy soldiers airdropping letters to Santa.

“I thought you might like to see them, but I didn’t think you’d come here alone.” She bit her lip. It _was_ pretty presumptuous of her. Hopefully he hadn’t been saving the windows for a date or anything. Why that thought turned her stomach sour wasn’t something she was going to put too much thought into at the moment. She took a long sip of her hot chocolate to cover the thoughts she was pretty sure were all over her face.

“You did this - came out here in the cold and snow...for me?” he asked so quietly she wasn’t sure she heard him correctly. 

“It’s just as much for me. I want that happy smile.”

“Darcy.”

“Who else would I come here with?” she asked.

He huffed, his breath puffing a cloud of steam in the chilly air. “You can’t be ignorant of the line of people who would happily murder me in my sleep to be here with you in my place.”

“I don’t know about that. But _I_ wanted to come with _you_.” The truth slipped out before she had a chance to second guess herself. She quickly tamped down her feelings. So what if she’d been nursing a tiny (ha!) crush on the man since they day they’d met? Who cares if that feeling had only grown stronger the more time they spent together? Just because he wasn’t interested didn’t mean they couldn’t still be friends. She could absolutely, probably, control herself. 

He snuck a glance at her. “Darcy,” he began.

“You’re my holiday buddy, right?” she interrupted with forced cheer, trying to cover her internal panic. “Some buddy you are - you haven’t even noticed my hat.”

His eyes flicked up to the neon green hat covering her head. It had giant felt antlers that stuck out on each side and the bells attached telegraphed every move she made. He gently flicked one of the antlers.

“I was tryin’ not to notice.”

Her jaw dropped in mock indignation. “You take that back.”

He tugged her a little closer, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as he guided them to the next window. “Nope.”

“Grinch.”

“Yep.”

The next window was ice skating dolls, complete with paper snow swirling across the scene. He must have caught the smile tugging at her lips.

“You skate?”

“No,” she laughed. “I prefer to not have my legs broken at the holidays. Or ever. What about you?”

He grew quiet. “Not for a long time,” he muttered into his cup as he enjoyed another sip of hot chocolate.

_Way to put your foot in it, Lewis._

She snuggled into his arm and shook her head slightly, causing the bells on her hat to jingle, trying to pull him back from wherever that distant look in his eye had taken him. “Think you’ve still got it?”

His lips twitched. “No idea. Why, you itchin’ to find out?”

“Not particularly, but if I’m going to fall and injure myself, who better to call an ambulance than my security detail?”

“I wouldn’t let you fall,” he said, the smile returning to his face. She took the win, reminded herself that he only saw her as a friend, and guided them to the next window as she rested her head on his shoulder.

“I might hold you to that.”

He kept his eyes locked on hers and the rest of the world fell away.

_Just a friend. Just a friend. Just a friend._

They were jostled from behind as other people in the crowd moved around them to see the next window. Bucky’s lips twitched into a small smile as he guided her forward to the next window.

“Oh Snow White. I love this movie.”

Bucky froze at the edge of the window, inadvertently pulling Darcy back a little. 

“Bucky?” she asked. His eyes were wide and all traces of humor were gone from his face. Now he just looked...sad.

“You go ahead,” he said quietly, pulling away and releasing her. “I should watch the crowd anyway.”

“No,” she protested weakly, but it was too late. He’d released her and quickly ducked into the crowd. He wasn’t quite out of sight, but he was definitely out of reach. 

She turned back to the window and sighed. All she’d wanted was to get him off the base for a little while, share a fun holiday activity. Apparently, she’d inadvertently wandered into a minefield and she had no clue how to get them back out.

Her eyes skimmed over the window display, but the bright colors no longer held any appeal. She took another sip of her hot chocolate, but it had gone cold. Annoyed, she pushed ahead to the last window on the block and paused. She was already here, she might as well finish it. 

The display held two dolls in front of a Christmas tree, a Christmas movie playing on the tv behind them, while they snuggled in front of the fire. The display emitted the scent of sugar cookies while a pop version of a romantic Christmas standard played overhead.

“Rub it in, why don’t you,” she grumbled.


	5. 30 Days

_I'm making a list, hell, I'll check it twice_  
_Of all the things you've done in my life_  
_Then I'll send it your way so you see why I love you_  
_“30 Days” - Never Shout Never_

Darcy cursed herself the entire way back to the base. Bucky hadn’t said much, but the lighthearted atmosphere from the morning had evaporated and she didn’t know how to get it back.

She wanted it back. She wanted...Well, she wanted a lot of things, really. Right now, she just wanted the carefully neutral expression on Bucky’s face to take a hike so she could get back to working on pulling out his smile.

He really did have a beautiful smile. It should be considered a crime that it wasn’t used more often. She’d seen it a lot more recently, but not nearly enough for her liking.

She snuck a glance at him. He was stoic, carefully navigating the car out of the city traffic and out onto the highway that would take them home. She watched out of the corner of her eye as he obeyed every speed limit, every letter of every law. He switched on the headlights when he had to use the windshield wipers to clear a few snowflakes, despite the fact that it was 12 noon and sunny, for crying out loud. She had to wonder if he’d always been this careful of a driver. How much opportunity he had...before. 

She mentally shook those thoughts away. They weren’t helpful to her in the moment and they certainly weren’t going to help her draw him back out of the shell he’d retreated into. It was almost like they were back where they started - the not-quite-tense silences that had permeated their interactions when they first met. She hated it. All she wanted was her friend back. 

No, that wasn’t quite right. She wanted to see Bucky, if not happy, then at least content. Another stolen glance revealed the tension in his jaw, telling her he was pretty far from content right now. 

What usually brought out that smile? She normally didn’t have to work all that hard for it - she could say something silly and she’d at least get a twitch of the lips or a crinkle around the eye, if not a full-blown smile or laugh.

Maybe a movie when they got back? Maybe - but she had no idea what exactly brought on his sudden shift in mood, so wasn’t sure what movie to suggest. Dance party was out - he wasn’t going to agree to spin her around a room when he was already this distant. The applesauce and cinnamon ornaments weren’t quite dry yet - they needed another day before they could hang them up. She’d been hoping they could watch the Christmas tree lighting on tv while they decorated their tree. If he didn’t retreat from her entirely after this.

She chewed on her lip and winced at the sudden sting. Damn cold weather. She hoped she wasn’t bleeding as she dug through her bag looking for her lip balm. Once upon a time, Darcy had been a connoisseur of flavored and scented lip balms and hand creams. She’d loved them all - the sweet, the spicy, anything in between. She had a favorite for each mood, each season, each time of day. That all changed when she started spending more time around Steve and Bucky. It had suddenly occurred to her that her love of scented hand cream might just be migraine inducing for people with enhanced senses. She’d switched to unscented options that day and never looked back.

Well. With one exception. Her all-time favorite lip balm, the one that worked miracles to soothe and heal her poor abused lips when the cold caused them to split, was scented. It wasn’t overpowering, and she didn’t use it all that often anyway, so she kept the tube and used it sparingly. Finally locating the tiny container, she pulled it out of her bag and removed the cap. The scent tickled her nose as she applied a thin layer and relished the sweet relief the almond and vanilla scented balm brought to her aching lip.

Oh. There’s an idea.

Bucky Barnes had an absolutely insatiable sweet tooth and Darcy had a boatload of edible cookies she needed to make. He’d seemed to enjoy helping with the non-editable cookies for the tree. A smile crept across her face as she mentally ran through her cookie recipes and put together a quick shopping list of ingredients.

“Can we swing by the store? I’m working on cookies this afternoon and need a few things.

She carefully watched his expression. He blinked, but otherwise kept his face very carefully neutral. Too neutral.

“Sure,” he replied quietly. “What kind of cookies?”

_Bingo._

“Well, I promised snickerdoodles to a few of the other support staff and I wanted to try out my grandma’s kolache recipe.” 

He hummed in response, switching on the turn signal as he changed lanes for their exit.

Clearly snickerdoodles and kolache weren’t going to get the job done. Darcy went in for the kill.

“And of course, I have to make my fudge.”

Bucky went very, very still, before swallowing hard.

“Your chocolate fudge?” he replied.

_Gotcha._

“Yep.” It was a good thing he was concentrating on the road, because she was fairly certain her grin would give her away.

“Barton mentioned it once. Said a fight broke out in the break room between a few techs over it.”

“Barton mention he swooped in during that fight and snagged the last piece?”

Bucky’s lips twitched. “Must be pretty good fudge.”

“You help me make it and you can have a whole batch to yourself.”

“Deal.”

***

Bucky stacked the ingredients on the counter as Darcy pulled down a collection of mixing bowls, measuring spoons, and other various kitchen implements. She knew his kitchen almost as well as her own at this point - and judging by the look on Bucky’s face at the things she was pulling out of his cabinets, she might know his kitchen better than he did.

“What are you making first?” Bucky asked as she tied her apron around her waist to protect her snowman sweater, thankful she’d forgotten it here the other day when they’d made ornaments.

“We.”

“What?”

“What are we making first? Unless you’re bailing on me. Got a better offer somewhere?” she teased. “Hot date?”

_Please don’t be a hot date._

Darcy’s banished the thought from her traitorous mind. Bucky could date if he wanted to. 

“Nope. I’m all yours.”

She grinned at him and _absolutely did not_ read more into that statement. “You’re just in it for the fudge I promised you, aren’t you?”

“Now you’re fishing for compliments. But you’re crazy if you think there’s a better offer than spending the afternoon with you.”

Well then. Doesn’t that just warm a girl right down to her toes.

_He’s just being friendly. Don’t pin your fantasies on a throwaway compliment._

She grinned at him. “Charmer. But I love it, so as a reward we’ll make your fudge first.”

“Whatever you say, Darcy-Doll,” Bucky agreed, his voice so quiet so almost didn’t catch it.

She moved the saucepan to the stove and started measuring out the sugar. “Double batch sound like enough for you?” She heard Bucky exhale sharply and turned to look at him.

“You don’t have to go to all this trouble for me, Darce,” he mumbled.

His dark mood clearly hadn’t quite lifted. She was so damn proud of his effort though. He’d made so much progress this year. “It’s no trouble,” she reassured him. “Besides, I _like_ having a kitchen minion.”

That earned a small grin. “Minion, huh?” he asked, his voice dry.

“Yep. It’s a step up from gremlin, you should be honored.”

“Oh, I am.”

She turned back to the stove and motioned to the container of cocoa. “Can you measure out the cocoa for me, please?”

He moved to her side and opened the container of cocoa. “Where should I put it?”

“Oh. Here.” Darcy handed him a bowl and a fine wire mesh strainer. “Sift it into this bowl.”

“Like this?”

Darcy watched him meticulously sift the cocoa, careful not to accidentally toss any on the counter or the floor. “Perfect,” she smiled, then turned back to the stove.

“Thanks for being patient with me,” he murmured.

Darcy froze, her whisk hovering just above the contents of her saucepan. She turned back to Bucky. She thought about asking him what kind of friend should would be if she wasn’t patient with him. She wanted to ask what the hell kind of people he’d been hanging out with if this was all that was needed to earn his affection? ( _Platonic, Lewis, don’t get it twisted._ ) But she knew the answer to those questions already and she didn’t like the picture they created.

She leaned close and stood on her tiptoes to plant a kiss to his cheek. “Good kitchen minions are hard to find,” she teased with a smile, earning a very small twitch of the lips in return.

She turned back to the stove and hummed along to her Christmas playlist that was softly playing on the stereo. As they moved through the recipe, Darcy was a little impressed at how smoothly the process was going. Bucky took her direction well and was relatively restrained in how many times he snuck a taste of the batter. The heat of the candy didn’t phase his metal hand and he took complete advantage any time her back was turned. Darcy pretended not to notice the sneaky taste-testing or the way Bucky’s eyes fluttered closed. Damn him.

As she poured the completed fudge into the dish to cool, Bucky snuck a finger into the stream of chocolate to steal one last taste. She laughed as his eyes rolled back into his head.

“Does it meet your exacting standards, Sarge?”

His eyes snapped to hers, an unreadable expression in his face. “Next time a fight breaks out over this, I’m going to win.”

Darcy barked out a laugh so hard she almost spilled the last drops of fudge onto the counter. “You know I’ll make you a batch anytime you want, right? You just have to ask? Hell, I didn’t even bother to make you turn around for the secret ingredient - you could make it yourself now.”

He shrugged. “It’s better with you though,” he mumbled.

He looked a little stunned that he’d said that out loud, so Darcy chose not to acknowledge that she’d heard him. She just tucked the sentiment away in that box in her mind where she collected all of the sweet things he did or said, so she could moon over all the “what ifs” and “if onlys” later. She moved the dish of fudge out of the way so it could cool undisturbed.

“Snickerdoodles or kolaches next?”

He shrugged and gave her a half smile. “We could…” he voice tailed off. Darcy waited him out, giving him a small, encouraging smile, hoping he would continue his thought. She’d learned long ago that he still sometimes had trouble voicing what he wanted, so she did her best to give him the space he needed to find the words.

He took a deep breath and squinted at the ceiling. “Snickerdoodles are faster, right?”

She nodded. A sinking feeling twisted in her chest as she tried not to let her disappointment show on her face. He was clearly done for the day and just trying to be polite, since she’d asked for his help with the cookies. She kicked herself for not phrasing it differently. She kicked herself again for setting up a damn cookie factory in his kitchen - if they were anywhere else, he could easily excuse himself when he was tired. 

“We could make the snickerdoodles, then maybe order some dinner? Take a break before finishing up with the kolaches?”

Or not.

“That sounds perfect,” she said, trying and failing to contain her grin.

“Great.” He reached a hand towards her, then stopped suddenly. “You’ve got. Um.” He reached again and ran his thumb over her cheek. It took all of her willpower not to close her eyes to savor the feeling.

“Cocoa,” he whispered.

“Thanks,” she breathed. He was close. Like, really close. He had to be able to hear her breath stutter and her heart rate speed up. Her traitorous body was making a fool of her.

This was bad. This was really really bad. Somehow, at some point the tiny crush she’d been nursing had grown without her knowledge. She’d gone and caught feelings for Bucky. Real feelings. Halfway in love already feelings for her best friend that he was never, ever going to return.

She was in so much trouble.


	6. Ho Ho Hopefully

_We go together like the winter and this sweater_  
_And she makes me feel, she makes me feel alive inside_  
_And when I look into her eyes I see the blue and green_  
_Like Christmas lights, like Christmas lights_  
_Oh what a sight_  
_“Ho Ho Hopefully” - The Maine_

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, _stupid_.

Bucky chastised himself as he puttered around his kitchen, trying desperately to distract himself from how much of a complete fool he must have made of himself. Darcy had gone to the spectacular effort of planning a lovely day for them, seeing the Christmas windows and making cookies. What had he done to repay her kindness? Freeze up and run away when the damn Snow White window reminded him of his baby sister. He couldn’t even explain it to her - he just ran.

And then! Just when he expected her to write him off as a weirdo entirely, she not only patiently drew him back out of himself, she also made him his own batch of her heavenly fudge. 

And just how did he repay all of her kindness?

Shamelessly (and artlessly) flirting with her. As if she would ever be interested. He’d heard the way her heart rate picked up - she panicked when he got close. 

And didn’t that sting. She’s never seemed to mind before - they’d been walking arm and arm earlier in the day and she’d always been fairly tactile with him, even when everyone else kept their distance. Especially when everyone else kept their distance. It hadn’t escaped his notice that she made a special effort to seek out his side when other people were around - particularly those whom he might not know well. She was an unfailingly good and loyal friend. Some days she felt like the glue that held his fragile world together.

Now, he’d gone and ruined everything because he’d let his more than friendly feelings get the better of him. He’d broadcast his feelings and she didn’t know how to let him down gently. The rest of the evening had been an exercise in awkward and nervous. Darcy had been skittish the entire time they’d made snickerdoodles, then fidgeted through dinner, and finally declared herself tired and left before they could make kolaches.

Or worse - maybe she was _afraid_ to let him down gently. If Darcy was afraid of him - if she didn’t think she could tell him that she wasn’t interested without triggering some sort of aggressive response - that was completely unacceptable. He’d rather climb to the top of Avengers Tower and jump than Darcy be afraid of him.

He was putting the finishing touches on a fresh mug of hot chocolate to drown his sorrows in when there was a sudden, incessant banging on his door. His hand hovered over his mug, about to drop one of the giant peppermint marshmallows Darcy had made him into the steaming chocolate. He sighed, set the treat carefully back on it’s tray and went to answer the door.

“I need you,” Darcy blurted as soon as the door was more than a few inches open.

He blinked a few times in confusion, then silently stepped aside so she could come in. She reached down and hefted three enormous bags and jerked her head to the side.

“Grab the others?” she asked, bringing everything inside.

He peeked outside and saw several more bags on his stoop. “Are you...moving in?”

“Is that an invitation?” she asked, aiming her teasing grin at him. 

_If I thought you’d accept..._

He kept that thought to himself as he quickly grabbed the bags and brought them inside before the cold could settle into his skin. He closed and locked the door, then moved the bags out of the entry and into his living room.

“What is all this?”

“We live with a bunch of spies, Bucky-Bear. Liars and thieves and damn dirty SPIES.”

“Um.”

“Have you ever tried to keep a secret around here? It’s next to impossible. And do you think anyone ever taught any of them the joy of anticipating what Santa might have in store for them?”

“Is this a test?”

“They’re all about the instant gratification and spoiling surprises and finding all of my gift hiding spots. What part of DO NOT OPEN UNTIL CHRISTMAS is so difficult to understand?”

Realization dawned. “Barton broke into your house again, didn’t he?”

“STEVE ROGERS DID. Your idiot BROKE into my HOUSE because SOMEONE never taught him MANNERS.”

“Am I in trouble for that? I feel like I shouldn’t be in trouble for that.”

“He’s your idiot!”

Bucky sighed and ran a hand over his face. He should not enjoy Darcy yelling at him this much. But she wasn’t really angry with him, per se, and her face was flushed and her hair was a bit wild and her lips were pink and begging to be kissed. 

Not that she’d invited him to do so. Nope, that’s a thought he needed to stow away _right this second_ because Darcy:  
1\. Wasn’t interested  
2\. Was his friend  
3\. Was still yelling at him.

Good gravy, he must be a masochist. 

At least she was here and things weren’t still weird after the way he’d behaved. If she could look past his momentary lapse in judgment, he could keep his feelings to himself from now on. He would also have to have a conversation with Steve - force him to stop trying to push the two of them together when Darcy clearly wasn’t interested. Steve might think he had Bucky’s best interests at heart, but he would rather have Darcy has his friend than not have her at all. 

“So here’s what we’re going to do. After everything is all wrapped up, we’re going to put your super spy skills back into service and find me a damn hiding spot that even Natasha can’t locate!”

“I’m not sure I’m up to traveling to Mars today.”

“Hilarious. Are you helping or not?”

“Darcy.”

“Just…” Darcy slumped onto a stool at his kitchen counter. “Why do people have to be terrible?”

The defeat on her face gave him pause. “We still talkin’ ‘bout Steve?”

She sighed but didn’t reply. 

“Want to tell me what happened?”

She shook her head. “My family’s the worst.”

He waited for her to continue, the way she would always wait for him when he was gathering his thoughts and finding his words. When it became clear she wasn’t going to elaborate further, Bucky cleared his throat and grabbed one of the bags she’d brought. Distraction was the order of the day, it seemed.

“You have wrapping paper?”

She nodded.

“Get set up. I’ll make more hot chocolate.”

“Marshmallows?” she asked quietly.

“Wouldn’t be a gift wrapping party without them.”

She stared at him, her expression blank. Then she quickly crossed the kitchen and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest.

“Thank you, Bucky.”

***

“How? How is this possible?” Darcy exclaimed.

Bucky shrugged.

“How are you _possibly_ so good at wrapping presents? This is a goddamn work of art, Bucky-Bear. I might not even let Thor open it.”

Bucky shrugged again and got up to take their now empty hot chocolate mugs to the sink.

“Was this like a weird spy thing? You learned to precisely wrap things in paper to disguise their true purpose?”

“You’ve got some funny ideas about what my previous life entitled.”

She shrugged. “I don’t have any other explanation for why you’re freakishly good at gift wrap.”

“So your theory is brainwashing?” he laughed.

“Until a better answer presents itself, yes.”

Bucky shook his head in amazement, then changed the subject. “Figure out where you’re going to hide all this?” he asked, motioning to the small mountain of gifts that had taken over his living room. 

“Ugh, no. Maybe I should just give up and chuck Steve’s gift at his head, since he insists on being so nosy.”

“His reflexes are too good, he’d just catch it and I think the lesson would be lost.”

Darcy groaned and threw herself forward, face planting into the couch. He had to laugh at her antics as he exited the kitchen and leaned over the side of the couch.

“Darce. Leave ‘em here. I’ll pile it all in my closet and no one will find them.”

She looked up at him in confusion. “Don’t you need room in your closet for, you know, clothes and stuff?”

He shrugged. “I don’t have that much.”

Darcy paused for a moment and looked like she wanted to say something about that, but held her tongue. “Closets aren’t the most original hiding place.”

“No one willingly spends any time here, let alone looking through my closets.”

Concern crossed her face. “I do.” 

_Yes, you do._

Darcy was the only person who ever spent any time in his home. Even Steve tended to prefer the apartment he shared with Sam or a common space like the gym or the mess whenever he and Bucky spent time together. It hadn’t occurred to him before. 

Were other people not comfortable spending time in his space? He knew that his house was spare and cold - it was entirely understandable that people would prefer to spend their time elsewhere. Or was it that he preferred to keep others out? Either way, the fact that Darcy spent nearly as much time here as he did probably said something. 

“You’ll be the only one who knows where the gifts are then,” he said quickly.

“Okay,” she agreed. “I’ll leave it all here. Can I help you wrap any of your gifts? We could pile everything under the tree and then any nosey parkers would have to risk your wrath at opening one of your gifts early.”

“Only person I have to buy for is you, so. No.”

“Wait, what?”

Bucky blinked. He hadn’t meant to admit that.

“Uh.” He brought his hand to the back of his neck. “Well, see. Steve and I don’t get each other anything and...I don’t have anyone else. So.” He shrugged, trying to play it off like it was no big deal.

“Clint? Scott? Sam?”

“I’m not…they’re Steve’s friends.”

“Yours too,” she argued.

“Not really.”

“Oh. Not even Nat?”

“It’s okay, Darce. Really. I don’t mind.”

“Bucky...why haven’t you ever said?”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“No one should be alone at Christmas,” she argued.

“I’m not alone,” he countered. “There’s...Steve.”

“That’s true. There is Steve.” Darcy said. “And Steve has Sam. And the rest of the team. So if they’re not yours by extension of Steve...” She bit her lip and picked at her chipped nail polish. “There’s me,” she added quietly.

_There is you, Darcy. Always you._

“There’s only one thing to do, I guess,” Darcy continued.

“What’s that?”

“You’re just going to have to be my date for the Stark Christmas Gala.”

“Pardon?” It felt a little like she’d added 2 + 2 and gotten 87, but apparently that math worked for her.

“You don’t have anybody. I don’t have anybody. We should go together.”

He ignored the voice in his head that was jumping up and down screaming at him to just accept and not question it. “There’s a Stark Christmas Gala?” he asked instead.

“Don’t you read your email?” she scolded.

“Not if I can help it.”

“Bucky-Bear!”

“I hate email!”

“Uggghhhh. Tomorrow night, in the city. Dress nice.”

“Nice?”

“Pick me up at 6.”

This sounded like a date. Was this a date? There was no way this was a date. “Okay,” he replied quickly, before he could talk himself out of it.

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

Bucky started at Darcy as she gathered up her coat and changed from her ridiculous elf slippers into her snow boots. She leaned in to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Six o’clock tomorrow. I’ll be waiting.”

She closed his door behind her, leaving him a bit stunned in her wake. Somehow, at some point between then and now, his thing for Darcy had grown into much more than a thing. She’d worked her way into his life and staked out a corner in his heart. He’d gone a tripped halfway in love with the woman without ever noticing. 

The only trouble was that there was no way she felt the same.


	7. His Favorite Christmas Story

_He met her up in Delaware in 1937_  
_She was wearing red lipstick_  
_To match her pretty dress_  
_December 24 at a quarter til 11’s_  
_When he finally gained the courage_  
_To ask her to dance_  
_“His Favorite Christmas Story” - Capital Lights_

He really should check his email more often. Apparently this party was a much bigger deal than he had anticipated. There was going to be a _press line_ for crying out loud. 

Granted, absolutely no one in their right mind was asking him to do any press. But still.

He checked his reflection in the mirror once more time and suppressed a wince. He usually avoided mirrors, his appearance of little importance on a day to day basis. Tonight was different though, and not for the first time tonight did he wish he had a better handle on how to fix what he saw.

The suit wasn’t terrible. It fit. It was black. He’d found a black button down and black socks in his closet. He’d drawn the line at the stupid red bow tie he’d found. He needed to tell Steve to stop shopping for him - he might dress like a sad hobo most days, but that was because he couldn’t be bothered, not because he didn’t remember how.

He’d even gone onto one of those stupid fashion websites to figure out something to do with his hair. He had a vague memory of once being meticulous about it - every strand in place, even on the front lines. Now he was lucky if he remembered to trim it when it got annoying. After a half hour of searching through photos of impossibly beautiful people, he’d given up and tied it back with one of the hair ties Darcy had left behind at some point.

There was nothing to be done about the metal hand or the dark circles under his eyes. He tried not to think about it and desperately hoped that Darcy wouldn’t be embarrassed to be seen standing next to him.

Six o’clock sharp and he was knocking on her door, cursing himself for not thinking to run out for flowers or something for Darcy. That’s what a guy was supposed to do. Guys still did that, right? The door swung open and his breath left him as he caught sight of Darcy. Her hair was curled and her lipstick matched the red buttons that traveled from the neckline to hem of her black dress. Matching red heels and black seamed stockings completed the look and he wasn’t entirely sure he was capable of forming coherent thought.

She grinned at him and held out her hand to invite him inside and he was fairly certain his heart stopped. “Lookin’ good, Bucky-Bear. I just need to grab my coat and we can go.”

He quickly stepped inside as she grabbed her coat from the closet. He took it from her so he could help her into it, the gesture earning him a delighted (and surprised) smile. 

“Such a gentleman. You’ve spoiled me for all other men, you know.”

_If only_. He suppressed a groan and shoved back thoughts of all the things he wanted but couldn’t have.

Her dark hair and red lipstick stood out against her white wool coat and she was picture of classic holiday cheer. 

“Ready to go?” she asked, slipping her gloved hand into his.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

***

The party was...loud. The ballroom was beautiful and tasteful and full of people. Darcy waved at a few people she knew, but by the time she and Bucky had made one lap of the party, they’d yet to actually talk to anyone else. She saw an empty table beside the dance floor and made a beeline for it, squeezing Bucky’s hand and pulling him along behind her. She dropped her handbag at a seat to claim it, then turned to Bucky.

“Did you see what I saw?”

“Maybe?”

“Mini quiches, Bucky. Mini. Quiches. I’m going to need to stick, like, all of them in my mouth. I’m starving.”

She winced slightly after the words came out, but Bucky didn’t seem to notice her awkward and somewhat suggestive phrasing.

“I’ll go get you some,” he offered.

“You would be my favorite forever. I’ll get drinks?” Her voice was an octave too high and she didn’t wait for his reply before turning to the bar.

She asked the bartender for two soda waters with lime and tapped her nails on the bar while she waited. She needed to get a handle on herself. The sight of Bucky Barnes in a black on black suit would send even the most reasonable person into fits, but the little shit just had to leave his top shirt button undone to toy with her. If he were anyone else, she’d think he was doing it intentionally, but Bucky seemed completely oblivious to the effect he had on her.

She dropped a tip in the jar as the bartender returned with their drinks. She took a deep breath, plastered a smile on her face, and turned to head back to their table.

And almost spilled everything all over her dress as she ran smack into Ian Boothby.

“Son of a nutcracker,” she muttered. 

“Darcy! Sorry!” Ian exclaimed. “Didn’t realize how close I’d gotten. Did we spill? Everything all right?”

She set one of the glasses down and quickly patted the front of her dress. “No, no I’m good.” She grabbed the glass again and motioned with her head. “I have to go, it was nice to see you!”

“Darcy, wait! I...I saw that you’re here with...Sergeant Barnes,” Ian said slowly. 

Her eyes slid over him and her lips flattened into an unimpressed line. “Your point?”

“Just that, you know, if you needed anything, I could...you know.”

“No, I don’t know. Enlighten me.”

“Rescue you?”

Darcy stared at him. “Rescue me from what?”

Ian sighed and tugged at his tie. “Look, it’s great that you’re nice to him. And that you’ve been looking after him while Commander Rogers is away. But...it’s a party. And you look amazing and everyone can see how he looks at you so-”

“Finish that thought and you’ll finish the night twitching on the floor.” She leaned closer. “Did I tell you about my upgraded taser?”

“Darcy-”

“Happy holidays, Ian.” Darcy turned to go, leaving Ian behind at the bar. She hoped against hope that Bucky had been delayed at the hor d’oeuvres table and hadn’t caught any of that conversation. That hope was dashed when she saw the tense set of Bucky’s shoulders as he sat, alone, waiting for her.

She set the glasses down at the seat next to him and ran one hand over his shoulders. “Sorry I’m late, handsome.”

Bucky didn’t reply, just quietly stood to pull her chair out for her. 

She mentally sighed and settled into her seat. When she finally looked around the table, she couldn’t stop her smile.

“Bucky...how many mini quiches did you grab?”

“All of them,” he mumbled.

“All of them?” she laughed.

He shrugged. “The spinach and cheese ones anyway. The others have ham, and I know you hate ham.”

“When did I say that?”

“Last year. Steve ordered ham and pineapple pizza and you declared that all ham tastes like ass and anyone who enjoyed it should reconsider their life choices.”

Darcy blinked. “Bucky...that was...like, three days after we met.”

“So?”

“How do you remember that? _Why_ do you remember that?”

He shrugged again. 

“Well. Tonight, we feast on non-hammy contaminated mini quiches like the royalty we are.” She lifted her glass to him in a toast. “Cheers.”

***

This was a mistake.

He had no idea what ever possessed him to think that coming here with Darcy would be a good idea. He could barely tolerate these people on a normal day - tonight they were drunk and judgmental and all too freely sharing their thoughts with Darcy on how she spent her time.

Or worse - they were outright ignoring her. Darcy was a social creature and always nice to everyone. But she shows up standing next to him and suddenly people were avoiding her like she was contagious. Maybe if Jane or Steve were here it would be different, but they weren’t and they were stuck. 

Why had he ever thought this was a good idea?

Not long after polishing off the last of the mini quiches, Darcy reached over and squeezed his hand - the metal one, he noticed. She gave him a smile. “I’m going to grab more water, want anything?”

“I’ll get it,” he said, manners long forgotten kicking in and forcing him out of his seat.

“You’re the best,” she said, throwing one of those grins his way. 

That’s why he’d agreed to this - Darcy had asked.

He was a fool.

He asked the bartender for their drinks and his eyes slid to the dance floor. Darcy’s co-workers were happily bouncing around to what they assumed was the beat of the song the band played. He wondered if she wanted to join them. She loved to dance.

He wondered if she’d do it if he asked - forget the world and let him spin her around the dance floor with the rest of them. This had once been his element - a pretty girl, a dance hall. It had been easy once. 

“Two soda waters with lime,” the bartender said, placing the drinks in front of him and interrupting his thoughts.

“Thanks,” he replied and dropped a generous tip in the jar. 

He returned to the table and silently passed one glass to Darcy. She smiled in thanks and took a sip as he sat down.

“Are you having fun?” she asked.

“Sure,” he replied automatically.

“Because I am bored out of my mind.” His head snapped to her smiling face. “I’ve tipped the bartender well enough at this point that he’d give me his first born if I asked. Want snag a bottle and get out of here?”

“I love you.” The words slipped out and before he could panic Darcy burst out laughing.

Not exactly the reaction he had hoped for the first time he said those words to someone, but given she was never meant to _know_ , he supposed he shouldn’t complain. He pushed down his panic for later.

“Bucky-Bear, if you wanted to leave, you could have said something.” She grabbed his hand and slid out of her seat. “Let's get out of here.”

He could feel eyes on him as he escorted her to coat check and helped her into her coat. He could feel the stares turn to glares as Darcy took his arm and led them out of the party. 

“Darcy…”

“Forget them, Bucky. If I wanted their opinions I’d ask for them.”

The ride back to base was quiet, Darcy humming along with the Christmas music on the radio. She wound her fingers around his and watched the lights out the window.

Once back on base, she waved the pilfered bottle of champagne at him as she let him into her home. “I don’t like drinking in public - one too many bad experiences with tequila and shoddy barstool construction in New Mexico. These days, I only imbibe with people I trust.”

“You trust me?”

“Of course I do.” 

She said it like it was easiest thing in the world. Like it was obvious.

“I think I have a pair of your sweats around here somewhere, unless you wanted to run home and change, then come back?”

“Why do you-”

“Bucky, how do I end up with any of your stuff?”

“Okay.” 

“Pop the bottle and I’ll be right back.”

He fiddled with the bottle to remove the foil covering the cork, then took the bottle outside, just in case the cork unexpectedly flew. After a moment, the cork was off in a tree somewhere and he had champagne covering both hands, but most of it was still in the bottle. He quickly went back inside to grab glasses, just as Darcy emerged from the hall holding a pile of his clothing.

“Flyer huh? I’ll handle that, go get comfy.” She took the bottle from him and shooed him out of the kitchen.

He ducked into the bathroom to wash his hands and change. When he emerged, Darcy greeted him with a glass and a smile.

“Thanks.” 

“Cheers,” she said, clinking their glasses together and taking a sip. He watched her, ignoring his own glass for the moment. 

He smiled at the oversized T-shirt she wore that looked like a Santa suit. Her red leggings completed the festive ensemble. This was the Darcy he preferred - relaxed, less guarded. She laughed loudly and swore colorfully and danced whenever the hell she felt like it. She wore silly holiday shirts because they made her happy. She had looked amazing at the party, but he hadn’t realized until just now how much he’d missed the ridiculous holiday shirts and hats she’d been sporting since Thanksgiving.

Happy was a good look on her. It gave him courage.

“JARVIS?” he asked. “Anything on Darcy’s Christmas playlist we can dance to?”

An upbeat tune blasted through her speakers in response. He didn’t recognize it, but the beat was easy enough to follow.

“May I have this dance, Miss Lewis?”

Her eyes lit up as she took his glass from him and set it on the counter next to hers. “You can have all my dances, Sergeant Barnes.”

She wasn’t kidding. She let him spin her around her living room for song after song, pausing only occasionally for a sip of champagne when she got thirsty. She’d sing along and after she had JARVIS repeat the same song three times in a row, he joined in. 

Finally, she wore herself out and collapsed on the couch in a fit of laughter, pulling him with her. She snuggled into his side with a happy sigh and closed her eyes.

“I wish other people could see you like this, Bucky-Bear,” she murmured sleepily.

“People see what they want to see.”

“Then they’re all blind.”

He gave her a slight squeeze, her words warming his heart. Soon enough, her breathing evened out and she was asleep on his shoulder. 

He gave himself a few minutes to savor the feeling of her tucked up against him. Just a few. She trusted him and he wouldn’t dare abuse that privilege.

Finally, he forced himself to move. He gathered her up and carefully made his way to her room to get her into her bed.

“Bucky,” she murmured.

“Yeah?”

She tugged him closer and pressed her lips to his. “Stay.”

He swallowed hard. She was half asleep. She’d been drinking. She wasn’t actually asking.

“Go to sleep, Darcy-Doll. I’ll see you in the morning.” He brushed one lingering kiss to her forehead, tucked the blankets around her, then let himself out. As he climbed into bed, the ghost of her lips against his followed him to sleep.


	8. Merry Christmas, Here's To Many More

_It always hurt to be all by myself this time of year_  
_A cold and lonely Christmas Eve_  
_And living out my days alone_  
_Well that had been my deepest fear_  
_But you promised you won’t leave_  
_“Merry Christmas, Here’s To Many More” - Relient K_

Bucky woke up to a pillow thumping him in the chest.

“Hey dummy!” Darcy yelled, thumping him again. “If a girl asks you to stay, _you stay_!”

“What the hell?” he wheezed as she hit him again, this time aiming for his face and only missing because he threw an arm up to block the pillow.

“I was _worried_ , you ass! You’d had way more champagne than me! I didn’t want you to slip and fall and crack that thick skull of yours on the pavement where you’d bleed out and _die_ while I was _SLEEPING_.”

She threw another pillow at his head. He caught this one and threw it back. “Serum, remember? I can’t get drunk!”

She paused, the pillow held over her head. “Wait, what?”

“What?”

“You can’t get drunk?”

“You didn’t know?”

“You didn’t tell me!” She brought the pillow down on his chest with a thump and he wheezed again. “Friends tell each other these things!”

Bucky scrambled out of the sheets and snatched a pillow off the floor to toss at her. “I thought you knew!”

“How the hell would I know if _you didn’t tell me_?!?”

She chased him down the hall with a yell, pillow high over her head. He stopped at the end of the hall and turned around. He snagged her around the waist with one arm and spun them both into the living room as she nailed him in the head with the pillow one last time. 

“Are we friends?” she demanded.

“Not if you keep throwing pillows at me.”

“Bucky!!”

“Yes! Yes, we’re friends.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me? I woke up and I freaked out thinking you’d stumbled home drunk and that something bad could have happened. You could have passed out halfway home and frozen to death in the snow. You could have wandered off the base and not been able to get back. You could have been mugged or kidnapped or murdered and I would have _slept right through it_.”

“I thought you knew! I’m sorry.”

She searched his face, her gaze burning a hole right through him. “Okay,” she said, finally. She trailed her hands up his arms before interlocking them behind his neck and pulling him into a hug. “Sorry, I woke you up with a pillow attack,” she mumbled.

“You’re lucky I didn’t try to kill you,” he snapped.

“I’m not going out like that.”

“I’m serious, Darcy,” he said, his arms tightening around her, giving into the fear that had settled in his chest. “I’m not...stable...on my best day.”

“You’re doing better than you give yourself credit for. I know for a fact you haven’t had an episode all year.”

“It was stupid,” he argued.

“Yeah. I’m sorry.” She buried her face in his neck. “We’re both idiots.”

“It’s why we get along so well.” He closed his eyes and tried not to think about how well she fit in his arms. Or about the kiss she’d given him the night before. Or the fact that she hadn’t mentioned the kiss at all. _Or_ that she’d called him a friend. After last night, he’d been hoping...well, it didn’t matter. She wasn’t pulling away from his embrace, so he was going to enjoy it for as long as it lasted. “You were really worried about me?” he asked quietly.

She made a tutting sound. “Of course I was worried about you.”

“It’s been a really long time since someone worried about me. I’m not used to it.”

“Steve worries.”

“Steve doesn’t count.”

Darcy’s laugh tickled his neck. “Okay then.”

“Thanks,” he replied quietly. He finally opened his eyes and saw the mess of bags in his kitchen. “Um. Darcy?”

“Yes, Bucky-Bear?”

“What happened to my kitchen?”

“On the chance you weren’t dead, I was going to force feed you all the recipes I’m testing for Rhodey’s dinner thing on Christmas Eve.”

“As punishment for leaving or reward for not dying?”

“Both.”

***

Darcy hadn’t just brought over food. As he unpacked the begs, he found spools of ribbon and clothespins and a pile of opened Christmas cards. He held them up in Darcy’s direction.

“Wrong bag?” he asked.

She took the cards from him. “Nope. Still decorating.”

“Decorating...what?”

“Do you have a step stool?”

Bucky hadn’t had any coffee yet this morning, but he had figured the adrenaline from the unexpected pillow attack would have negated the need for caffeine. He rubbed his eyes as he slumped onto one of the stools at the counter and willed the conversation to make some sense.

Darcy came up behind him and rubbed soothing circles into his back. He let his head fall back against her and kept his eyes closed, enjoying her proximity.

“We’re going to wrap ribbon around your cabinet doors, then use the clothespins to hang all the cards we’ve gotten,” she explained, her voice soft.

“We?” he whispered.

“Yes. We.” Her hand moved from his back to his shoulder and she gave him a few short squeezes. He could feel the tension bleed out of his shoulders as he continued to relax against her. “I have something for you.”

He opened his eyes as Darcy stretched to grab one of the bags on the counter. Finally, she grabbed whatever she was looking for and held a box out to him.

“Hot chocolate advent calendar. One two-person serving each day, every day.”

He ran his fingers over the box, reading all of the flavors and varieties of hot chocolate inside. “We’re a little behind,” he murmured.

She shrugged. “So continue on into January. Or ride the sugar rush wherever it takes us.”

He smiled. “You really are the best, Darcy.”

She dropped a kiss to the top of his head then mussed his hair. “I know.”

***

After they enjoyed the first day’s hot chocolate, Darcy had shooed him away from the kitchen, exiling him to the other side of the kitchen island to observe her cooking, but not actively helping.

“I have to be able to make these recipes on my own! You’re not going to be around to help the day of.”

“Why? Where will I be?”

“You’ll be making whatever you’re bringing to this thing. You don’t get to mooch off my recipes,” she teased throwing him a wink.

“Darcy, I wasn’t invited. I won’t be making anything.”

She froze, the knife in her hand precariously close to her fingers. If he didn’t know what a whiz she was in the kitchen, he might have been worried.

“What do you mean you weren’t invited? Did you check your email?”

“Yep. Went through all of it when I was looking for the Stark party invite.”

She slammed the knife down on the cutting board and swept the onions she’d just chopped into the saute pan. “Fine. Then you’re my plus one. Get your chestnuts over here and help me.”

***

A few hours later and an entire feast was laid out on Bucky’s dining table. There were mini shepherd’s pies and wine braised mushrooms and garlic roasted fingerling potatoes and butternut squash gratin. 

“What should we try first?” Darcy asked, her eyes shining.

“All of it.”

She laughed and handed him a fork. “Dig in then.”

“Plates?”

“Why so fancy?”

He shrugged. “Off the serving trays it is, then.”

They dug in, happily enjoying the fruits of their labor. With every bite, flavor exploded on his tongue and he was once again blown away by how good of a cook Darcy was.

“Where’d you learn to cook?” he asked.

“Cooking tv shows.”

“What? Seriously?”

She nodded. “My parents…” Her voice trailed off as she dug another bite of shepherd’s pie out of the dish and ate it. He waited while she gathered her thoughts and gave her a smile.

“I don’t think my parents actually wanted kids. They were both so wrapped up in their careers and their own lives. It felt like they always resented the time they had to spend with me. And when it came to birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, they just didn’t bother.” She shrugged. “Do you know, I never had a birthday cake of my own until I interned for Jane? It was a week late, but Jane threw together a microwave mug cake and stuck a candle in it. She and Erik sang ‘happy birthday’ and then we split the cake. All three bites of it.” She smiled at the memory. “It was dry and way too sweet and still the best cake I had ever tasted. After that I decided that I was going to make up for all the things I missed celebrating as a kid. Some people hate all the trappings that go along with the holidays. Not me. I love them. All of them.” She shook her head. “Anyways. I asked my mom if there were any family recipes - things her mom made or anything like that. I wanted to try to learn to make that stuff. I thought maybe...But most of it was thrown away when my grandparents died, and neither of my parents had any inclination to cook so. TV chefs were my teachers.”

Bucky took a second to process that. “So...come December...you never did anything as a kid? No Santa?”

“No Santa.”

“No...anything?”

She shrugged again. “Neither of my parents are religious and my dad was always so focused on his next deadline that most days he didn’t know what month it was. He was always working three months ahead to prep for the next season. December in the Lewis house was just another month. There’s some extended family that does a thing, but I’m not going. They didn’t miss me last year, they won’t miss me this year.”

“Wait, but you went home for Thanksgiving this year.”

“My folks are a _little_ better now that they’ve both retired. But Thanksgiving dinner was a tray of lasagna I found in the freezer after I arrived and found there was no food in the house. Then dinner conversation consisted of them talking over me to berate my life choices. They’re...they’re not interested in _why_ I do what I do. I’m not doing what they want or what they did, so clearly, I _must_ be wrong.” She shook her head. “I was supposed to stay until Monday. I left that night instead.” She poked at the butternut squash. “They’re not...bad people. We just don’t understand each other and they’re indifferent about it.” She shrugged again. “It could be worse. Plenty of people have it so much worse.”

“I will never understand how someone could be indifferent to you. How someone could...not want to celebrate with you. The things we’ve done this month, the traditions you started for yourself, they’re _special_.” Bucky said vehemently. “You make everything special,” he muttered. He quickly stuffed a large bite of squash into his mouth and avoided her eyes.

Darcy reached up and played with the hair at the back of his neck. “That’s because you’re a sweetheart, Bucky-Bear. I may have also bought your loyalty with fudge.”

He hummed around a mouthful of potatoes and she grinned.

“So what’s the verdict? What are we taking to dinner?”

“I think your butternut squash is going to cause another fistfight.”

“You gonna win this one?”

“Hell no. I’ll help you make more.”


	9. Christmas With You

_When the sun comes up_  
_And the snow falls from the roof_  
_I can smile because I spent my Christmas with you_  
_“Christmas With You” - Artist Vs Poet_

“Why are there so many strands of lights here?” Bucky asked, digging through the box Darcy had given him.

“Because we’re not just lighting my doorway.”

He threw her an exasperated look. “And how many doorways are we lighting?”

She shrugged. “Steve and the team are due back by Christmas Eve. I thought it would be nice for them to come back to a few twinkle lights.”

“You’re not breaking into their houses and decorating?”

“I would _never_.”

“You break into my house _regularly_.”

“You’re different.”

“Oh well fine then.”

She grinned at him and he only semi-begrudgingly followed her outside into the snow to hang lights around the doorways of the absent Avengers. As Bucky got up on the ladder to hang the lights, Darcy was carefully sweeping snow away from the walkways and putting down ice melt in front of each door.

Bucky looked at the sky. “Might be a wasted effort, Darce. Looks like we’re in for more snow.”

She peered up at the grey sky. “Well...damn. Oh well. At least it won’t be quite as bad as it was.”

He plugged in the last strand of lights over Steve’s door and stepped off the ladder to admire his work. Darcy slipped her arm around him and cuddled into his side.

“This looks great, Bucky. Really. And it’ll be even better once a little snow falls on it and reflects the lights.”

“Yeah. I think they’ll like this, Darce. It was a nice idea.”

She smiled sheepishly then looked up at him. “Couldn’t have done it without you.”

He made a dismissive noise, but didn’t want to argue. Especially not when she was looking at him like that. 

There were a lot of things he would do if she would keep looking at him like that.

“Inappropriate snowmen.”

He blinked. Surely he heard her wrong. “Um. What?”

“That’s what we’re missing. Inappropriate snowmen.”

“Is this a reference to something?”

She laughed. “Nope. But there’s definitely enough snow around here for a few snowmen, and I fully believe that it is our patriotic duty to defile Captain America’s front lawn with inappropriate snowmen.”

He felt the grin creep across his face. “How inappropriate?”

Darcy’s mischievous grin turned downright evil. “Just this side of getting arrested.”

“Count me in.”

***

Darcy was putting the finishing touches on her last snowman. She had stolen Bucky’s scarf and donated it to the cause, as she’d decided this particular snowman had a wool kink. As she completed her work, Bucky snuck up behind her.

And smashed a snowball over her head.

Darcy shrieked in surprise and whirled around.

“BUCKY BARNES YOU ARE A DEAD MAN.”

“Like I haven’t heard that before,” he quipped before scooping up another handful of snow and tossing it at her. The snow flew apart mid-air and dropped to her feet without hitting her. Darcy scooped up her own handful and packed it into a snowball that she hastily lobbed in his direction. Bucky easily dodged her attack and darted around to stuff more snow down the back of her coat.

Darcy shrieked again in indignation and made to chase after Bucky; alas, her foot caught in the scarf she’d been using to tie up her kinky snowman and she face-planted into the snow with a thump and a whimper.

“Shit!” Bucky turned quickly and jumped into the snow, sliding to a stop next to her. “Darcy, are you okay?” 

There was a muffled groan as Darcy pushed herself up and rolled over onto her back. “Just bruised my pride, Bucky-Bear.”

He chuckled a little, mostly in relief that she was okay, and leaned close to double check that her glasses weren’t broken.

He promptly let out a shout of his own as she stuffed handfuls of snow down his coat.

“That’s what you get!” she yelled as she scrambled to her feet and took off running.

“Oh. It’s on,” he grumbled to himself and chased after her.

***

An hour later, both Darcy and Bucky were thoroughly soaked and Darcy declared a truce. 

“Your hair is soaked through, Darce.”

“My hair? There’s practically icicles in yours!”

He shook his head. “This entire base will be out for my blood if you get sick from this. Come on, let’s go get warmed up.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and started back towards his house. He told himself that it was to protect her from getting any colder. 

“Can I borrow some dry clothes?” she asked, wrapping an arm around his waist.

“What’s mine is yours.”

“Ohhhh I’ll remember that. Any interest in watching a few Christmas movies tonight?”

He hesitated. Curling up on the couch was an inviting idea. Curling up on the couch _with Darcy_ was a _very_ inviting idea. He wasn’t entirely sure anymore that his ever-growing feelings for Darcy were entirely unwelcome or unreciprocated, but he didn’t want to push his luck. While he’d enjoyed almost every festive thing that she’d thrown at him, he also wasn’t sure he could stomach _Miracle on 34th Street_ or _White Christmas_.

If she suggested _It’s A Wonderful Life_ he might just have to excuse himself entirely and that wasn’t a conversation he really wanted to have. If she did feel a little bit for him what he felt for her, the fastest way to douse those feelings would be to shove his issues and inadequacies in her face while she sat on his couch.

“I could be convinced,” he said slowly. “What movies did you have in mind?”

She smiled at him and he might have agreed to watch just about anything in that moment.

“You’ll see.”

***

Bucky really should have known that Darcy’s idea of a Christmas movie would not necessarily fall along the lines of what most people considered Christmas movies. The t-shirt she was currently occupying (“It’s not Christmas until Hans Gruber falls from Nakatomi Plaza”) made so much more sense now, two movies into their impromptu marathon. 

She’d started the night with _Die Hard_. Once Bruce Willis saved the day, Darcy ordered dinner and moved on to _Lethal Weapon_. Now they were about halfway through _Gremlins_ and Darcy was asleep on his shoulder.

He really couldn’t complain.

He was only halfway watching the strange film, focusing more on Darcy and the warmth she provided at his side. There was something here. A solid something. A potentially - he hesitated to even think it, but he really couldn’t deny it anymore - permanent something. He was surprised at just how much he wanted it - a few weeks ago, he’d been convinced that he was content in his solitude.

The credits on the film began to roll and he realized he’d been so lost in thoughts of Darcy that he’d missed the rest of the movie.

“Darcy,” he said quietly, giving her a squeeze with the arm that was wrapped around her shoulders. “Wake up, Darcy-Doll.”

Her face scrunched up as she slowly woke up. She blinked a few times and reached under her glasses to rub her eyes, but didn’t move from his side. “Timeisit?”

“Late.”

“ _Gremlins_ over?”

“Yeah. Want me to go back to when you fell asleep?” _Please say no._ While he didn’t want her to move, he really wasn’t interested in watching the weird movie again.

“No. Once a year is good enough.” She raised her head off his shoulder and looked over at the clock. “Hmmmm. I should go.”

“Oh. Um. Okay.” 

She hesitated. “Do you want me to go?”

“No,” he whispered.

She hummed happily. “We still have to open today’s hot chocolate. I could get that going while you get the next movie set up?”

“Sounds perfect,” he whispered. 

She slowly crawled out of his embrace and made her way into the kitchen to prepare their treat. “Put _A Muppet Christmas Carol_ on?” she asked over her shoulder.

He grabbed the remote to put on the movie. A few minutes later, she put two steaming mugs in front of them, then snuggled back into his side and wrapped her arms around his middle. “Peanut butter hot chocolate today,” she noted. “Wake me if I fall asleep?”

“If you’re that tired, we could save this one for another night,” he offered, mostly because he felt he should, not because he wanted her to leave.

She pressed a wet kiss to his cheek, then laid her head on his shoulder. “Pain of death, mister. I love this movie. I fall asleep, you wake me.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Ugh. Manners are gross.”

“Whatever you say, ma’am.”


	10. Christmas On The Road

_Lights shining on our Christmas tree_  
_Yeah, I’m home_  
_You’ve been waiting so long for me_  
_All I want is you this Christmas Eve_  
_“Christmas On The Road” - Sleeping With Sirens_

“Welcome back, Janey!” Darcy said, wandering into the lab.

“Hey Darcy,” Jane said tiredly, rubbing her eyes.

“Flight that bad?” Darcy asked, immediately handing over the mug of coffee she’d just grabbed for herself.

Jane took a long sip, then sighed appreciatively. “You’d think I’d be used to this flight by now.”

“Why didn’t Thor just zap you back here?”

“Rogers called for air support for something in Latveria.”

“Ahhh. The day job.”

“Verily,” Jane replied dryly, pulling a snort of laughter from Darcy. “Ugh, I can’t work today. Let’s go get real coffee and catch up.”

“Whoa. Work-life balance. Who are you and what have you done with Jane Foster?”

“Shush.”

***

“So how have things been around here?” Jane asked settling into one of the stupidly comfortable overstuffed chairs in front of the fireplace in the lounge.

“Quiet, honestly. Most people are still away.”

“Oh yeah? Think I saw a few inappropriate snowmen on Rogers’ front lawn. Know anything about that?”

Darcy smiled into her coffee. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“How did you even get the one on the porch to stay like that?”

“Bucky helped.”

Jane blinked. “Bucky...as in Bucky Barnes?”

Darcy eyed her over her coffee cup. “Do we know any other Buckys?”

“No, I’m just surprised he left the house.”

“He’s been doing a lot better recently. We saw the Christmas windows.” Jane’s eyebrows disappeared into her hairline and Darcy conveniently left out the part where something about those windows caused Bucky a bit of panic - it wasn’t really anyone else’s business anyway. “And we went to the Stark Christmas thing.”

Jane gave her an appraising look. “Like a date?”

“No,” Darcy said vehemently.

“But you wanted it to be,” Jane said carefully. It wasn’t a question and Darcy knew better than to argue.

“I kissed him.”

Jane perked up. “DETAILS. Darce - when I left here in November, you two were friends, but you weren’t-”

Darcy grinned at Jane’s reaction. “Down girl. I blame my lack of sleep at the time for giving into the impulse. And anyway, he hasn’t said anything, so. We’ll just forget it and move on.”

Jane watched Darcy’s face a little more carefully than Darcy would have liked. “But you don’t want to forget it. Darcy...how much time have the two of you been spending together recently?”

Darcy shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “All of it? Whenever we’re not working.”

“And the healthy appreciation you had for his thighs has only grown, but you don’t think he’s interested.”

Darcy glared at her over her coffee cup, but said nothing as she tried to hide her expression behind a long sip of her coffee. Which was empty.

“Oh my god, you’re in love with him.”

“Shhhhh!” Darcy shushed her friend hastily and glanced around. “There are spies that work here, you know.”

“I don’t need to be a spy to figure it out, it’s written all over your face.”

Darcy sank into her chair and pouted into her empty cup. 

“What are you going to do?” Jane asked quietly.

“I have no idea, Janey. No idea.”

***

Bucky had barely opened his door when Darcy barrelled through the door, snow blowing in behind her.

“Close it close it close it!” she yelled.

Bucky quickly shut the door, the room suddenly that much warmer for the lack of icy wind.

Darcy jumped up and down a little, snow falling off her coat and hat and fluttering to the floor.

“It. Is. COLD.” she declared, her teeth chattering slightly.

“What the hell are you doing out in this weather?” he asked, quickly unzipping her coat so he could slip his arms inside, pulling her to him in a hug to warm her up.

“Oh hello,” she said in surprise, hoping he didn’t catch the hitch in her breath. “Won’t catch me complaining about this. Sign me up for the Ididaride if I get hugs from you at the end.” Maybe she should tone down the flirting. Whatever, he was gorgeous. Call it a Christmas gift to herself. She could tone it down in January.

He gave a long-suffering sigh. “You can get hugs from me without getting frostbite, Darce, you know that. Now what’s up that you risked life and limb to come see me?”

“I can’t just want to see you?” she asked quietly. She tried to smile, as though her statement was meant to be teasing, but she knew that he saw right through her.

He stilled. “Darcy-”

Bucky’s door opened again and Steve ran inside. “Holy shit, it’s cold.” 

Darcy rolled her eyes to the ceiling as Bucky quickly stepped away. Gone for most of the month - of course the Star Spangled Wonder would show up now.

“Welcome back,” Bucky said quickly.

“You know, it’s summer in Australia, right now. I left Australia for this.”

“You were punching Doombots in Australia. You’d rather do that then walk in the snow?” Darcy asked acridly.

“Yes.”

She turned away from them both, muttering under her breath about idiot super soldiers who don’t know what’s good for them when it smacks them in the face. She didn’t even care if they could hear her. 

“You guys ready to go?” Steve asked Bucky slowly, keeping a wary eye on Darcy. 

“Go? Go where?”

Steve slid his eyes over Darcy who was still muttering to herself then back to Bucky. “The charity hockey game? I didn’t think we’d be back for it, but since Australia wrapped up early-”

“What charity hockey game?”

“Do you not check your email?”

Darcy groaned to herself. Why did people keep insisting on emailing Bucky? Did absolutely no one but her realize he hated email? Did anyone else care?

“Why can’t people just tell me things? Why do you all insist on emailing me?”

“It’s for the children’s hospital,” Darcy said. “First goal scored by the home team and everyone throws teddy bears on the ice for the kids in the hospital.”

“That seems unsanitary.”

She shrugged. “They clean them up first.”

“I even break out the extra spangly suit for this,” Steve said, his tone dry as the desert. “The kids love it.”

Bucky looked to Darcy, confusion still all over his face. 

She sighed. “I meant to mention it the other day, but we got caught up and it slipped my mind. Are you busy tonight? They need volunteers to count the bears.”

He opened his mouth to say something, then seemed to think better of it and simply shook his head.

“You don’t have to,” she insisted. It was her fault anyway - she’d been so wrapped up in the snowball fight and then the movies on the couch that she hadn’t been thinking any further ahead.

“Are _you_ going to be there?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’m going.”

Darcy steadfastly _did not_ look at Steve, who was smirking as he pulled his keys from his pocket. “Want to ride together?” he asked.

“You go ahead, we’ll meet you there,” Bucky replied before Darcy could say anything. He touched her arm and kept her back a moment while Steve ran out into the cold, still smirking.

“To answer your question from before we were so rudely interrupted. Yes. You can come over anytime you like for any reason at all. You’re having a bad day, you’re having a good day, you’re bored, you’re hungry - whatever. I will always have time for you. I will always _make_ time for you. Okay?”

“Yeah sure,” she said dismissively, zipping her coat and not meeting his eyes.

“Hey,” he said, his hand trailing down her arm so he could wrap his warm fingers around hers. “Please look at me.” He waited until she met his eyes. “There is very, _very_ little that is more important to me than you, okay? I need to make sure that you know that.”

Darcy stared at him, her heart in her throat. Was it possible that it wasn’t quite as hopeless as she’d thought? Could he actually...maybe…

In a fit of either madness or courage, she leaned forward and kissed the corner of his mouth. 

“Same goes, Bucky-Bear,” she whispered.

She stayed pressed against him, his eyes burning right through her. He slowly leaned closer, their breath mingling, giving her every opportunity to stop him, to move away, to give any signal at all that she didn’t want this. It took everything in her not to just grab him and crush her lips to his.

Darcy’s eyes fluttered closed and he - 

_“If I can’t have you-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou_   
_Under my tree_   
_Don’t you wake me_   
_In the morning_   
_Cause I don’t wanna spend another Christmas without ya!”_

Darcy made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat as he moved away so she could answer her phone.

“Yeah Janey?” She reached out and made a grabbing motion with her hand as Jane rattled off a few last minute instructions for the night. He offered up his hand and she laced their fingers together. “Uh huh. I will only grab extra bears for Thor if _you_ explain _again_ that we are only throwing the bears on the ice, not attempting to knock the opposing players unconscious.” She motioned towards the door as Jane laughed. “See you in a few.” She hung up the call and gave him a small smile. 

“Ready?” he asked.

She thought about saying no. She thought about grabbing him and finishing what they’d started. She thought about a lot of things.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

***

The arena was _loud_.

Ten thousand screaming fans, most of them more excited to see Captain America and Iron Man in person than they were about the hockey game. Which was a shame, because while he didn’t know much about ice hockey, it looked to be a pretty competitive game. Maybe he was just biased because he’d known Captain America when he was 90 pounds soaking wet and had once seen Iron Man covered head to toe in Hello Kitty confetti while nursing a hangover. Those kinds of things ruin the allure.

The noise was starting to get to him a little though. He could feel a headache start to creep in behind his eyes. He used his thumb to place light pressure just above the bridge of his nose and felt the pain recede, giving him a few moments of sweet relief. He started at the sudden feeling of a hand between his shoulder blades.

“You alright?” Darcy asked, her eyes concerned and she rubbed small circles into his back. 

“Yeah. It’s loud.”

“Let’s head down to ice level, it’ll be quieter down there. Now that the game has started, they could be throwing bears at any time anyway.”

“Sure.”

She grabbed his hand and led him towards one of the hallways just off the main concourse. They showed their badges and were immediately let inside and directed to a stairwell that would lead them down to ice level, where they could wait until it was time to start collecting bears off the ice.

The area they were directed to wait was little more than a holding area for the Zamboni. The concrete floor and large garage door leading to the loading dock did little to insulate the area from the cold outside, but at least it was a little quieter than the concourse. 

The angle wasn’t great for watching the game, but if they looked up they could see most of the action on the video board. Darcy kept hold of his hand, continuously stroking her thumb across the back of his palm. After a few minutes of game play that included several scoring chances and a few penalties, Bucky noticed that Darcy’s hand had gone cold in his and she was fidgeting more than usual. He turned away from the ice to face her and suddenly felt like a complete idiot. While he was in a jeans and a sweater (one that he’d taken to wearing more recently, ever since Darcy commented it brought out his eyes), she was dressed like one of Santa’s elves. The green dress and red tights, while adorable, could not be keeping her warm. They had left their coats in the office with everyone else’s while they were working.

“Darcy, you’re frozen,” he chided. “Get over here.” He dropped her hand and wrapped his arms around her. She sighed happily as she shivered and sank into his warmth. 

“Say somethin’ next time, would ya?” he said quietly.

“It was too loud upstairs,” she replied, still shivering. “This was the better alternative.”

He closed his eyes. She’d let herself freeze because he’d been uncomfortable upstairs. She could have stayed where it was warm and sent him down here alone.

He brought his hand to the back of her neck and gently coaxed her to look up at him, lightly stroking the soft skin behind her ear with his thumb.

“Darcy-”

“ _GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!_ ”

A loud horn sounded and the crowd roared as they leapt to their feet. Bucky instinctively pulled Darcy under him, covering her with his body as stuffed animals rained down around them and bounced off his back. He glanced over his shoulder and laughed a little at the absolute mayhem on the ice.

Darcy peaked around him, her back still pressed to his front as he continued to cover her. “Did you just use your body to protect me from an avalanche of flying teddy bears?”

“Uh.”

He pulled her down again as a bear the size of a teenager fell from the seats and bounced off Bucky’s back. He could feel her chuckle as she covered the hand he’d splayed across her belly, holding her in place, with her own. She looked over her shoulder to see his face. “My hero,” she said with a warm smile.

“Darcy…”

“Always my hero,” she said quietly.

The look on her face sparked a bit of hope in his chest. Maybe...just maybe...he wasn’t alone in his feelings. He had absolutely no idea what to do with that information. She was _Darcy_ and she was amazing and he was - well, he was him. There was no precedent for formerly brainwashed assassins getting the girl. He was completely out of his depth. “We should really talk about this,” he whispered in her ear.

She nodded. “Yeah. But right now, I think we have a few teddy bears to pick up.”

The initial wave of stuffed animals had passed by the time Darcy and Bucky stepped onto the ice. Darcy snagged a few extra large bags from another volunteer and got to work, holding open a bag while Bucky picked bears off the ice and stuffed them inside. He could hear Thor’s boisterous laugh over the din of the crowd. Once he spotted him, he nudged Darcy.

“Thor seems to have gotten the hang of this.”

Darcy looked up to where Bucky pointed to see Jane wave a bear in their direction, then hand it off to Thor. Thor wound up and threw the bear, sending it soaring far over Darcy’s head and clear onto the other side of the ice - nailing the opposing team’s goaltender in the head. 

Darcy snorted. “Mostly.”

Thank goodness for helmets. The goalie looked surprised, but otherwise unharmed. Thor was delighted and yelled for another bear.

They’d filled about ten bags to clear their section. Darcy hefted two bags into the golf cart that was circling the ice, while Bucky lifted the remaining bags and carried them back towards the Zamboni entrance where Jane and Thor were waiting to help sort and count the bears.

They didn’t have time for pleasantries. The goal happened in the middle of the second period, and they had to have a total to announce before the end of the game. Jane went to work with an over-complicated algorithm Bruce had written to get an estimate, while Bucky, Darcy, and Thor worked with the other volunteers to quickly count all of the bears by hand. 

“It’s extra important we get the count right this year,” Darcy said, handing off another bag to him. “We’re going for a world record.”

There were 10,000 people in attendance at this game. Even if every person had only brought one bear...that was a lot of bears. And Bucky had seen people walking with in _armfuls_ of bears.

They worked through the intermission and breaks in play. Bucky wasn’t entirely sure they were going to make it, but one glance at Darcy told him that she wasn’t worried. Finally, with 5 minutes left in the third period, they had a total. Jane scribbled down the number and handed it off to a volunteer to take to Steve, who would be making the announcement at the next break in play.

“Stick a partridge in my pear tree, Janey, have you seen some of these bears? They’re taller than I am!” Darcy yelled from somewhere behind the pile of bears that were waiting to be loaded into the moving truck that would take them away to be cleaned before handing out to the kids.

Jane laughed and looked to Bucky. “Can you go find her? With that outfit, she’s likely to be mistaken for a giant teddy bear herself.”

Bucky made his way around the enormous pile. “Darce?” he called. “Where are you?”

“Up here!” 

He looked up in surprise. Darcy had somehow climbed the pile of teddy bears and was lying atop them like it was the world’s strangest bed. 

“How did you get up there?”

“Better question - how am I getting back down?”

He grinned at her. “Looks like you’re in a bit of a spot.”

“Yeah, my security detail really let me down on this one.”

“Hey!” 

He could hear her laugh from atop the teddy bear mountain and the sound warmed him right down to his toes. His stomach swooped with pride, knowing that _he_ was the one causing that laugh, making her smile.

Now he’d done it. He’d gone and tripped head over heels in love with his best friend. He was so far gone on Darcy that he couldn’t pinpoint the moment that everything had changed - when he looked back, he’d always felt this way.

And because the universe was an infinitely strange place, she somehow might feel a little bit of the same towards him.

“Stop staring you goober. Either help me down or get up here and join me.”

“Darcy-Doll, if I try and climb that thing, it’s going to topple to the floor and take you with it.”

“Guess you best get to helping me down then, Bucky-Bear.”

“Nag, nag, nag.” He stepped up onto a few of the sturdier bears and held out a hand. “Shift my way a little - slowly - and I should be able to-”

Someone took that moment to toss one of the five foot tall bears at the foot of the pile. The ground shifted beneath his feet as the entire teddy bear mountain started to fall. Darcy rolled toward him with a yelp and he caught her. He shifted her underneath him, cradling her head so it wouldn’t hit the floor and bracing himself so that she would still have room to breathe as the bears collapsed around them.

Once the barrage of bears ended, Darcy laughed as they dug their way out of the plushie pile and he couldn’t help but join her. The situation was ridiculous. 

“Tell me that wasn’t my doing,” she said, taking Bucky’s hand as he helped her to her feet.

“Not you.”

“You?”

“Not me.”

“Ah, the universe then. Looks like you’ve saved me twice tonight from an avalanche of teddy bears. I’m forever in your debt.”

Before he could answer, the whistle blew and play stopped. Steve appeared on the video screen to announce the total.

_“Okay, folks, we’ve counted all of the bears. Before I announce the total, I just want to thank each and every one of you for your generosity this year. I know that no matter what the number is, whether we’ve broken the record or not, you all will have helped make the holiday just a tiny bit more special for some great kids.” He took the slip of paper from someone off camera, glance at it, and smiled. “This year’s total number of bears collected is...34,798! A NEW WORLD RECORD!”_

The arena erupted in cheers.

“We set the record?” Darcy yelled, then turned to Bucky. “WE SET THE RECORD!!”

She jumped into his arms and he spun her around as she laughed and cheered. 

_“Looks like everyone is very excited about the total!”_ Steve’s laughing voice from the video screen broke through his haze as Darcy pulled away slightly and looked up at the board.

“Snowmisers!” she cursed and buried her face in his shoulder.

He peeked up at the board to see a very large video image of the two of them broadcast for the entire arena to see. He chuckled, slightly hysterically, as Darcy continued to hide her face.

The whistle blew, resuming play, and the video board switched back to the action on the ice.

“Are they gone?” Darcy asked, her voice muffled.

“Just me and you,” he replied, setting her back on her feet.

She pulled away from his embrace, and wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Sorry,” she muttered.

“What on earth for?”

“Making a scene.”

“No scenes were made,” he reassured her. “Promise.”

“Bucky, I-”

“Darcy! We’re going out to celebrate the - oh. Sorry.” Jane looked exceptionally apologetic.

Bucky hung his head and smiled ruefully. It clearly was just not their night. “It’s okay,” he said.

“Where’s everybody going?” Darcy asked.

“That Thai place on 8th.”

Darcy looked to Bucky. “You want to go?”

“I’m probably not invited.”

“Why wouldn’t you be invited?” Jane asked, her eyebrows drawn in confusion. “You hang with Team Science. You’re always invited.”

Darcy grinned. “She has a point Bucky-Bear. But it’s up to you.”

His eyes flicked between the two women smiling at him. “Alright,” he said. “Let’s go.”


	11. Mistletoe Is For Quitters

_Life seems to stand still when I’m caught up in your energy_  
_I have to stop and hit play_  
_My only wish this Christmas baby is that you’re next to me_  
_“Mistletoe Is For Quitters” - Forever The Sickest Kids_

Bucky wandered out of his bathroom Christmas Eve morning, toweling the excess water out of his hair and pondering what he might have in the kitchen that he could make for breakfast. He froze in the hall just outside of his kitchen, as his kitchen was currently occupied by a tornado that went by the name “Darcy Lewis.” He watched as Darcy moved frantically from one part of the kitchen to the next, stirring and chopping and throwing things into the mixer. 

“Darcy?” he asked quietly, not wanting to startle her while she had a knife in her hand. He had no concerns that she’d throw it at him (she wasn’t Natasha. Or Clint. Or half a dozen other people who lived on base), but he didn’t want her to accidentally hurt herself.

Either she didn’t hear him or was ignoring him. She kept moving, giving the pan on the stove a shake before returning her attention to the mixer. Bucky distantly registered that everything smelled delicious, but he was far more concerned about the frantic look on Darcy’s face than anything else at the moment.

“Darcy?” he asked again.

Darcy jumped and spun to face him. “Oh holy night, Bucky. You scared me.”

“Sorry - what’s going on?”

Darcy turned back to what she was doing. “Ugh, it’s a thing. Maria called and a bunch of people had to back out of making food for the dinner tonight, so instead of it being a potluck, it’s Chef Darcy creating a menu.” 

“Why didn’t you come get me?”

“It’s not your problem.”

“Hey,” he said, gently placing his hands over Darcy’s, stilling their movements. Her lip trembled a little and he pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around his middle and took a deep breath. He smiled a little at the thought of her sniffing him. He pulled back just enough so he could cup her cheek in his hand.

“Hi,” he said quietly.

“Hi,” she whispered back.

“What do you need me to do? Point me in a direction and I’ll do it. And if dinner’s late, it’s late. They can’t dump this on you at the last minute and expect everything to just fall into place. Anyone says anything about it, they can come bitch at me.”

“Really?” Her voice was watery.

“Really. We’re a team.”

“I really like the sound of that,” she whispered.

“Me too.”

***

A few hours later and they had just about finished preparing and packing up all of the food. Darcy slumped against the counter as Bucky finished wiping everything down.

“Thanks for your help,” she said.

“Anytime.”

“I didn’t come over here to try to rope you into this, by the way. I just...we were going to make the squash together.” She shrugged. “I still wanted to do that,” Darcy said, not looking at him.

He tossed the sponge into the sink and wiped his hands on the kitchen towel hanging from the oven handle. “I told you. We’re a team. You didn’t rope me into anything, I offered.” He paused and gave Darcy a quick once-over. “Is that what you wanted to wear to dinner?”

“What? Oh. No. But there’s no time now, I’ll just...be a mess, I guess.” 

“Go get ready. There’s plenty of time.”

“No, we still have to-”

“I’ve got it. You, go do whatever you need to do. Take a nap. Take a shower. Fall down an internet black hole. Whatever. I’ll handle this and then dinner can start whenever you’re ready.”

Darcy finally looked at him before wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his neck. “You’re kind of perfect, you know that?”

“Far from it, but I’ll let you think so for the moment.”

She hummed and lightly kissed his neck in response. 

He briefly closed his eyes. “One request though.”

She pulled away just enough to look at him, but didn’t let go of his embrace. “What’s up?”

“Can we...uh.” He cleared his throat, his mouth suddenly dry at the look she was giving him. There was no way he was reading this wrong, right? She actually - somehow, by some miracle, some insane stroke of luck that he in no way deserved - might be interested in him? 

She lightly stroked his back and waited for him to speak again. She gave him a small, encouraging smile.

“Can we not exchange gifts with everyone else? Can we come back here later so I can give you yours? I don’t want...what did you call them? Nosy parkers?”

Darcy laughed. “Anything you want, Bucky-Bear.”

**

Dinner was a surprisingly uneventful affair. Loud, but uneventful. Steve wouldn’t stop smirking at Bucky, giving him knowing looks every time Darcy’s back was turned. Clint attempted to fight four lab techs for the last piece of Darcy’s butternut squash gratin. Jane ate her weight in pie, then buried her head in a notebook to work out a new theory the sugar rush inspired.

Once the food was gone and most people were migrating to the lounge to put on a fire and a movie, Darcy started picking up dishes and taking them into the kitchen. Bucky quickly joined her.

“Damn ingrates. You put in all this work, and they won’t even help you clean up.”

Darcy smiled. “It’s fine.”

“It’s really not.”

“I don’t mind. Really.” Darcy was insistent. “But I appreciate your indignance on my behalf.”

“Promise me. If I ever start pullin’ that crap, takin’ you for granted, you let me know?”

“Bucky-”

“DARCY! I’VE FIGURED IT OUT! Oh my gosh, we have to open the lab!” Jane yelled from the lounge.

“Cheese and crackers and eight tiny reindeer,” Darcy muttered, then turned toward the lounge. “Yeah okay, Janey, be right there!” She turned back to Bucky. “Sorry. Probably won’t be around for gifts tonight.”

“We have all the time in the world. Let’s get your coat.”

Bucky followed Darcy into the hall. As they passed the lounge, Jane was scribbling notes onto napkins. “This is going to change everything,” she muttered, then glanced up as she shrugged into her coat. “Oh. Mistletoe.” Then Jane immediately buried herself in her notes again as she made her way to the door.

Bucky looked up. Sure enough, he and Darcy were standing directly under the mistletoe someone (Natasha) had tacked up in the hall. 

An uncomfortable silence fell between them as they both stared at the offending plant. When Bucky finally directed his gaze to Darcy, she was staring at him sadly. Sadly? Why was she sad? Wait - was she waiting for him to -

“I should get my coat. Jane’s waiting.” She stepped further into the hall and opened the closet, digging around inside for her coat.

Oh. She thought...

_MOVE. GO GET HER._   
_DO. **SOMETHING.**_

His brain was screaming at him as Darcy pulled her coat out of the closet and moved to shrug into it. Bucky hurried to her side, taking the coat from her and helping her into it, then turning her around and crashing his lips to hers.

Darcy made a squeak of surprise, then melted against him. Her hands grasped at his sides, bunching his shirt and lightly tickling his ribs. He pulled her ever closer, one hand at her hip, the other cupping her head, his fingers tangled in her hair. Darcy’s hand trailed to his back, just barely slipping under his shirt, her fingers brushing his skin as his lips moved against hers.

This. This was everything he’d been missing. Everything he’d wanted.

“Wow,” she breathed, not quite letting go of him, when they finally did part. “What was that for?”

“Um.” All of the surety he’d felt a moment ago when kissing her felt so damn right evaporated. “I’m sorry, was that not ummfffppt-”

His question was cut off by Darcy surging forward and claiming his lips.

She pulled away again suddenly, her eyes wide. “If it was just because of the mistletoe-”

He cut off her silly statement with another kiss.

“It’s not the mistletoe,” he breathed. “I’ve been wanting to do that for ages.”

“You should really do it again,” she whispered against his lips with a smile.

He agreed, so he kissed her again. And again. And again.

“Darcy, you need to see this!” Jane called, and Darcy finally pulled away.

“Science has the worst timing,” she grumbled, pulling a chuckle from him. “I have no idea how long I’ll be.”

“I am not going anywhere.”

“Ugh, you make that far sexier than it has any right to be.” She gave him one more kiss, then reluctantly broke away, following Jane to the lab.

He stared after her and could feel the stupid grin crawling across his face. He took a moment to just enjoy the feeling, before grabbing his own coat and saying his goodbyes. 

“Oh I see,” Sam teased. “Your girl left, so now you can’t stand the sight of the rest of us.”

“Yep.”

Steve laughed at them, his eyes crinkling just so. “Merry Christmas, Buck.” 

“Same to you.” He gave his friend a warm hug, then zipped up his coat and went out into the night. 

“That took long enough,” Sam muttered as the door closed behind Bucky. 

“I was starting to think it would never happen,” Steve replied.

Sam gave him an appraising look. “This mean you’re gonna stick around longer than a day at a time now? No more inventing world-ending events in far away places that take days upon days to resolve?”

Steve grinned. “I think so, Sam. I think so.”


	12. Kiss Me At Midnight (New Year's Eve)

_But there’s a party on New Years_  
_And I want to take you_  
_Cause at the end of the year_  
_I know what I want to do_  
_“Kiss Me At Midnight (New Year’s Eve)” - Pansy Division_

Bucky walked home quickly, hunching his shoulders to brace a little against the cold. He should really get another scarf or something, since Darcy had absconded with his for her snowmen. Darcy knew how to crochet - maybe she could teach him how to make one. 

He smiled at the thought as he unlocked his door. They could curl up in front of the fireplace while the snow and ice swirled outside. He could keep her safe and warm and - if he was lucky - happy.

He tossed his keys on the counter and slowly looked around. The tree in the corner stood out, the colorful paper concealing the gifts underneath brightening the entire living room. The kitchen was filled with bright, glittery cards, all signed with best wishes for a happy holiday and a wonderful year to come. There was a faint smell of cinnamon from the tree and chocolate from the kitchen, and if he concentrated he could still smell the yeast from the cinnamon roll dough Darcy had prepared that was resting in an out of the way corner.

There were soft, colorful blankets on the couch and an array of DVDs on the coffee table, all just waiting for the next movie marathon. There was firewood neatly stacked next to the fireplace and nestled among the twinkle lights strung along the mantle were two cheerful stockings. 

_Darcy. Bucky._

He grinned at how warm and promising his world looked at this moment. A year ago, he never would have imagined it. Six weeks ago, he would have dismissed the thought as crazy.

He was _happy_.

There was only one piece missing. And she was going to be busy for awhile.

He eyed the stash of hot chocolate on the counter. He’d always liked science. Maybe…

He grabbed the hot chocolate, zipped up his coat, and went right back into the cold.

***

A knock at the lab door startled Darcy out of her haze of spreadsheets. She looked up to see Bucky Barnes standing in the doorway, carefully balancing mugs in one hand. “Bucky?” she asked in confusion, getting up and coming to the door. “What’s going on?”

“For you,” he said, handing her a mug.

“You...this...I…” Darcy’s brain shorted out. 

“Drink up,” he said, “it looks like you’ll need the energy.”

“It’s Christmas Eve,” Darcy whispered. “You should be...in front of the fireplace, reading the book that was in your stocking.”

He shrugged. “Maybe. But you’re here, so…”

Darcy stared at him. 

“Is that hot chocolate? You’re a Christmas angel, Bucky,” Jane said, making grabbing motions with her hands.

Bucky laughed and handed her a mug. “Here you go. Now. What else can I do?”

Jane’s eyes flicked between Bucky and Darcy. When it became clear that Darcy was just going to continue gaping at Bucky, Jane spoke up. “Well, there are a few things…”

As Jane led him away, he glanced back at Darcy, who had finally blinked out of her stupor and was staring after them. He winked at her, then turned back to Jane. “Okay doc. Put me to work.”

***

Three hours later, Bucky set a fresh mug of hot chocolate on her desk, along with a small plate of cookies. Darcy stared at the treats for a moment, then glanced up at Bucky, who was smiling down at her.

That smile made her heart ache. The kiss (kisses) they’d shared as she left the party had been amazing - everything she’d wanted. She’d followed Jane to the lab in a happy daze, her friend laughing at her the entire time and genuinely happy for Darcy. 

Now, Bucky was here and he was being so sweet and something just kept itching in the back of Darcy’s mind. That this was all too perfect and the other shoe was dangling over her head, waiting to drop.

She looked back down at the mug of hot chocolate as Bucky’s smile slipped off his face. 

“Darcy?” he whispered, clearly sensing that something was amiss.

She grabbed his arm and dragged him into the kitchen, away from anyone who could overhear. The last thing either of them needed was to be the subject of next year’s office gossip.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

Bucky’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?” he asked slowly.

“It’s Christmas Eve,” she whispered. “This isn’t...it’s not…” 

“Darcy.” He grabbed both of her hands and laced their fingers together. “I’m here because you’re here. Wherever _you_ are is where _I_ want to be. But...if you want me to go, say the word and I’m gone.”

“No...I just…”

He released one hand and stroked her cheek. “Did I screw up earlier? In the hall?” The look on his face nearly broke her heart. 

“What? No! No.” She placed her free hand at his hip and tugged him a little closer. 

He touched his forehead to hers and sighed. “Christmas Eve is just a day, you know.” She pulled away from him slightly and stared at him. “You and Jane wrap up a few days from now, that’s when you and I can exchange gifts and sit in front of the fire and do all the things we’d been planning. Just because today is the 24th, doesn’t mean that I want to go do any of those things without you.”

“Okay,” she whispered and gave his hand a squeeze. 

“Ready to get back out there?”

She nodded. “Yeah,” she said, tugging on his hand so he’d follow her. “Let’s do this.”

***

Five days later, Darcy finally put her foot down.

“That’s it, Janey. Nothing else we can do until the computer compiles the data and it’ll be awhile before that happens. Go home. Sleep longer than 20 minutes. Eat something green. Shower. Probably in that order.”

Jane nodded sleepily and patted Darcy on the shoulder. “You too,” she murmured, then looked to Bucky. “Get her home safe okay? I need her.”

Bucky smiled. “I’ve got her.”

“How did I ended up the one being managed in this scenario? Bed, Jane. Now.”

Jane waved as she walked out of the lab and headed home.

“Anything else we need to clean up or shut down around here?” Bucky asked.

“Nah, we’re good. Let’s go home.” She bundled into her coat and held out her hand for Bucky as he turned out the lights in the lab. She leaned into his side, happily letting him guide her home.

“I’ll just run in for a change of clothes, then we can head to your place for presents,” she mumbled as they approached her front door.

“Darcy, you haven’t slept in about 60 hours, and even that was only for about 45 minutes.”

“I’m good,” she yawned.

“No,” he replied firmly. “I’m getting you inside, where you’re going to sleep, eat, and shower - potentially in that order. _Then_ we can talk about when to exchange presents.”

“Did you just give me the speech I gave Jane? Rude.”

He rolled his eyes fondly as he unlocked her door and guided her inside. She stood in her entry, blinking blearily. After a few moments, Bucky gently nudged her in the direction of her bedroom and set a glass of water on the end table next to her bed.

“Sleep, Darcy,” he said, brushing a kiss to her temple. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

She tugged on his shirt until he leaned down enough for her to lazily kiss his lips. “You’re the best, Bucky-Bear.”

He grinned at her, gave her another kiss, then saw himself out.

***

It was New Year's Eve when Darcy finally came knocking on his door again. He quickly let her inside and took her coat as she shook the snow out of her hair. When he turned back to face her, her eyes were darting all over his entry and she was nervously worrying her lip. 

“Darce?” he said quietly.

She blinked a few times and gave him a pained smile. 

He sighed and gestured towards the living room, which still shone with all of the brightness and warmth Darcy had brought to it the last few weeks. They sat down on the couch in silence. 

“Talk to me,” he whispered finally. “It’s still just me, Darcy-Doll. That hasn’t changed.”

“I’ve messed things up already, haven’t I?” she said sadly, fidgeting with the handle of the gift bag in her lap.

“Messed up...what are you-”

“Can we just forget any of this ever happened? All of it.”

The happy bubble he’d been floating in all week promptly burst as Bucky’s heart sank and he could feel his throat closing up. 

“Lonely at Christmas is one thing, but I can’t do Lonely at New Year's,” Darcy continued.

Alarm bells rang in his head. “What?” he choked out.

“Lonely at New Year's turns into lonely at Marti Gras, turns into lonely on vacations and before I know it, I’m nothing but your Friday night booty call. Perfectly convenient until something better comes along.”

It took considerable control to not gape at Darcy. “I don’t even know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything. In fact you don’t get to say anything because I’ve decided that this isn’t something I can continue. I’m sorry Bucky.”

“Darcy, I don’t know where this is coming from. Did I do something to give you the impression that you are somehow _temporary_ for me?”

“Bucky-”

“And what is this ‘until someone better comes along’ stuff, huh? Who, exactly, is going to be better for me than you? I would be a little insulted that you think I would do that to you, but we haven’t done the greatest job of communicating how we’re feeling, so let me be _abundantly_ clear. I don’t want some...fleeting, we’re lonely on Christmas thing.”

“You don’t?” she asked, her voice small and disbelieving.

“No! I want...I want…” his voice trailed off and he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. 

_You, Darcy. I just want you._

He looked into her eyes. “I want stupid Christmas songs and absurd holiday sweaters and Christmas movies that have nothing to do with Christmas. And I’m going to be so damn greedy and want New Year's and Valentine's Day and fucking Arbor Day if that’s a thing you want to celebrate. I want it with you. _None_ of it means a damn thing without you.” He shrugged. “I just didn’t know how to tell you. I was terrified of losing you - I didn’t think you wanted the same things. Not with me, anyway.”

She looked at him, her expression inscrutable. “Pi Day?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“National Taco Day?”

“Yes.”

“Worldwide Knit In Public Day?”

“If it is a holiday I can spend with you, I want it.” He hesitated. “But you _have_ to want it, too.”

“I want it,” she whispered. “I want it so much. Too much.”

“No such thing,” he replied, touching his forehead to hers. “What do you say, Darcy-Doll? Wanna be my New Year's kiss?”

“Yes,” she said, a small smile appearing.

“Will you be my Valentine?”

The smile grew. “Yes.”

“May I escort you in the Easter parade?”

She snorted. “Only if _you_ wear the hat.”

He leaned in a kissed her slowly, cupping her face with his hands as she slipped her arms around him. When they parted, he moved to whisper in her ear. 

“I believe there’s a gift under the tree for you, Miss Lewis.”

“Is it a super sexy nerd with a surprising weakness for hot chocolate?”

“It’s _from_ him, yes.”

“Ohhhh so you think you’re super sexy, huh?” she teased.

“I hope _you_ think so.”

“You’re not objecting to the nerd comment?”

“Darcy-Doll, that part hasn’t been in question since the ‘30s.”

She burst out laughing and his heart soared at the sound. She shoved the gift bag she’d been holding into his hands, then slid off the couch and onto the floor so she could pull her gift from its spot under the tree. Treasure in hand, she climbed back up onto the couch and settled close to him.

“Open it!” she said, nodding to the bag in his hands. 

He pulled the tissue paper out of the bag and peeked inside. He grinned as he spotted his favorite coffee blend and the candy that he loved and could never find. He pushed them to the side of the bag and pulled out the handwraps in awe. 

“Darce...is this - are these…”

“Stark claims they’re indestructible,” she interrupted, a challenge in her voice.

“I’ll be the judge of that.” He set the handwraps to the side and pulled the last gift out of the bag. It was a data card, small enough to slot into his phone. He held it up, the question surely written all over his face.

Darcy shrugged. “I really struggled with how to finish your gift. Everything else...well anyone could have done that. It’s not hard to remember your friends’ favorite coffee or to find something for one of their hobbies. And you’re not just a friend. You _haven’t_ been just a friend for awhile now. So I thought...something that was just us, you know? Tradition and memory...that card has all the music we’ve been listening to all month on it.”

He looked down at the card in his hand. “This is your Christmas playlist?”

She bit her lip. “ _Our_ Christmas playlist,” she replied quietly.

He pulled her close and kissed her soundly. “Thank you,” he murmured against her lips before pulling away. “You know I’m not listening to anything else until at least June, right?”

“Of course.”

He grinned. “Open yours.”

Darcy glanced at him with an uncharacteristically shy smile, then tore into the paper wrapped around the box in her hands. She lifted the lid to reveal a small fabric bag. She gently pulled the string that cinched the bag closed and peeked inside, her lips parting as she examined what was inside.

“There was a woman selling those at the coffee shop the day we went to see the windows,” he said as she tipped the bag over to spill its contents into her hand. “She takes apart old typewriters and turns the keys into jewelry. I saw this and...it reminded me of you. I went back the next day to get it.”

Darcy was staring at the bracelet in her hand. “It’s beautiful,” she murmured. “Why this one?”

He shrugged. “You take everything in stride. Norse god from outer space crashes into your van? Easy. Alien invasion crashes your internship? Handled.” He grinned. “Hundred year old ex-assassin shows up at your work? You had him smitten and eating out of your palm within the hour.” She mock-glared at him for that. “Whatever life throws at you, you just-”

“Shift,” she said, gently caressing the key on the bracelet with her fingertip. “I love it. Thank you.” She slipped the bracelet onto her wrist and held it out to admire it. “How’s it look?”

“Like it was made for you.”

She hummed happily and snuggled into his side as he wrapped an arm around her. “It’s almost midnight. Want to watch the ball drop?”

“Not unless you do. I’m pretty content.”

“Nah, I like our party much better.”

He traced circles into her shoulder with his thumb. “Got any New Year's Day traditions?”

“Nope. We’ve exhausted my holiday list. I’m spent until Thanksgiving.”

“Want to start one?”

She tilted her head back to look at him. “Sure. What do you have in mind?”

“You and me and this couch. We don’t go anywhere or see anyone or do anything except occasionally get up for more snacks. We make it the one day of the year that we are guaranteed to not have to do anything other than enjoy each other’s company and soak up the last of the holidays before we tackle whatever the new year brings.”

“You’d want to spend the whole day just with me?”

“I’d spend every day just with you, if I could get away with it.”

“You are _perilously_ close to running off with my heart, Bucky-Bear.”

“Nah, I’m not runnin’ anywhere. Besides, you’ve had mine for quite awhile now. Nothin’ bad has happened to it yet. I figure it’d only be right to return the favor, if...you know, someday…”

“How’s today?”

The lights from the mantle lit her face and the sight was more beautiful than he’d imagined a few weeks ago. 

“Yeah?” he whispered.

“Yeah.” Her phone starting beeping, alerting her to messages coming in. She glanced at the clock. “Midnight.” She leaned in close. “Happy New Year, Bucky-Bear,” she whispered against his lips.

“Happy New Year.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone! Here's to a better 2019. 
> 
> Let's scream about superheroes - I'm @seibelsays on Tumblr, Dreamwidth, and Pillowfort.
> 
> Until next time, may all your favorite bands stay together.
> 
> <3 seibelsays


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